New Beginnings
by emmareden
Summary: Set Post 7A. Based on the Spencer/Mary reveal!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Post 7A finale. I loved the reveal so much I just had to write something on it all. Let me know what you think :) Thank you for reading =]**

 **Chapter 1**

"Is anybody family?" the doctor asked.

The group shifted uneasily, casting awkward glances at Mary.

Mary stepped forward, clearing her throat and saying tensely, "I'm her mother."

"I'm her cousin," Alison said quietly, stepping up beside her aunt.

The doctor nodded and took them aside, talking to them quietly.

"The bullet missed anything major. It took a while to get the bleeding under control so she's lost a lot of blood – "

"Is she going to be okay?" Mary cut in.

The doctor smiled, "She's going to be fine. She just needs a lot of rest. If we could get you to fill out some paperwork – "

"I…I don't think I can do that," Mary spoke hesitantly, "I'm not…her guardian. I believe they've been contacted and will be here soon. Please, may I see her?"

"Of course," the doctor led them to the room, "She'll be out for a while but go ahead," she left them to it.

Mary put a hand on the door but Alison placed a hand over it, stopping her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked gently, clearly hurt.

Mary closed her eyes and withdrew her hand, before opening them and turning to her niece.

"I didn't know…how," Mary whispered, "I wanted to…"

Alison shook her head, "Why did… did mom know? How did she end up with… is Peter her dad? How did she end up with them? Why didn't you come sooner? Don't you – "

"Alison, please," Mary sounded choked up, "I know you have a thousand questions. Just…believe me, I wanted to tell her. To see her. I tried to come to see her…and Charles, but your mom told me Charles was dead and… "

"And what?" Alison pushed.

"She had a deal with the Hastings," Mary admitted, "To keep it all a secret. To keep me a secret."

"But you could have – "

"I don't want to taint your memory of your mother, Ali – "

"Too late," Alison said, exasperated, "I'm sick of nobody telling me the truth in this family. Please, aunt Mary, just tell me."

Mary read the hurt in the younger woman's eyes, "I'm sorry, Alison. It's just… your mother was in charge of my health care. All it ever took was one word from her and I was back in an institution and in there, I had even less of a chance of knowing any of my children."

"You really think she would do that?" Alison asked then read the expression on Mary's face, " _Did_ she do that? Spencer found a file… saying she signed for…electro-shock therapy."

Mary looked at the door and back to her niece. She knew Alison needed an explanation. Deserved an explanation.

"Yes," she whispered, "I did visit Spencer once… but Jessica said Charles was getting too old… he would be able to remember me so," she sighed, "I tried to fight her on it, Spencer was just a baby… They were my children. But she had custody. And control of… me. She sent me back to that hell…"

"So you stopped trying," Alison sounded more sad than judgemental.

"It was the only way I could get out of that place," Mary shrugged miserably, before looking at the door again.

Alison caught the glance and took a deep breath, "Do you really love her?" she asked quietly.

"I haven't known much love in my life, Alison, but I still remember holding my babies in my hands… Yes, I love her. Please, can we just – "

"Talk about everything else later," Alison nodded, "Of course. I should go tell the girls what the doctor said…but I'll be right back."

Mary nodded, "Sure, of course."

Alison walked away, leaving Mary outside the door on her own. Her hand hovered over the handle hesitantly. She gritted her teeth and forced her fingers around the handle, pushing the door open. She had to force her legs to work, walking into the room.

Spencer was surrounded by machines, some beeping, most not. She looked small and pale, unmoving. Mary felt tears well in her eyes before swallowing them tightly. She stepped towards the bed slowly, casting a glance over her shoulder at the door. Her eyes shifted back to Spencer, resting on the hand that lay on top of the sheets. She came to a stop beside Spencer's bed.

Her hand moved tentatively to her daughters, her fingers simply grazing at first before she tightened them around Spencer's hand.

* * *

The girls looked relieved as Alison told them Spencer would be okay.

"And Mary, is she really… " Hanna trailed off.

Alison nodded, "Yeah, I guess so."

"Of all the people we thought could be Mary's second child, I never thought – "

"None of us did," Emily agreed, "Why would we?"

"It does make a few things make sense though," Alison thought aloud.

"Like what?" Hanna asked incredulously.

Alison shrugged, "All the tension between my family and the Hastings. All the whisperings that used to go on. Mom never liked that I was friends with Spencer. She badmouthed her a lot. Plus, don't you guys remember her saying she used to feel like she didn't fit in with her family?"

The others nodded.

"I remember," Emily spoke slowly, "But we were just kids."

Aria frowned, "That's true… but I remember once she told me she thought she was adopted."

"She did?" Hanna asked, surprised.

"Yeah. Her and Melissa had had another fight. Her parents took Melissa's side. There was something about she heard them talking and when she entered the room they stopped. But she said it flippantly, I thought she was just being over dramatic," Aria explained, "like you said, Spencer was always saying she didn't fit in growing up. I mean, it hasn't really been until recently that her and her mom have really gotten on."

"Except Veronica's not her mom," Emily pointed out.

"A mom is more than just the person who gives birth to you," Alison said quietly, "Look at Charlotte. She loved my mom and she was Mary's daughter too."

"Is it really safe leaving Spencer with her?" Hanna asked suddenly.

"She won't hurt her," Alison said quickly, "She…she loves her."

* * *

Mary heard the door open behind her and looked around to see Alison and her friends enter the room.

"Has she just been resting?" Alison asked.

Mary wiped her eyes and nodded, "She hasn't woken up."

"The doctor said it could take a while," Alison said.

Mary's fingers still curled around Spencer's hand as she looked at the girls, "Someone has contacted…the Hastings, right?"

Aria nodded, "I called. They were jumping on the next plane, so they'll still be a few hours away."

"Right," Mary nodded.

"Why don't we go and get a coffee or something?" Alison prompted her aunt.

"No," Mary responded automatically, "I want to be here…"

Alison turned to her friends, "You'll call if she wakes up?"

Emily nodded, "Sure, of course."

When Alison managed to pull Mary away, the girls approached the bed.

"She looks so…" Hanna whispered.

"She'll be fine," Aria took her Hanna's hand squeezed it, offering a small smile.

Emily took Aria's hand, "Of course she will."

They all took a seat and watched their friend in silence.

* * *

"Maybe coffee isn't a good such a good idea," Alison smiled.

Mary looked down at her leg, jiggling up and down, "Maybe not but caffeine has always been my weakness."

Alison nodded, "Spencer's too," she said quietly.

Mary closed her eyes.

"So, what's it going to be like when Mr and Mrs Hastings get here?" Alison asked.

Mary shrugged, "Ugly, probably," she sighed, "They left me for Jessica to handle. When Jessica… passed away, I was back in an institution. In. Out. Story of my life. I suppose they just hoped I would stay there."

"I don't understand why my mom would do all this…" Alison frowned.

Mary bit her tongue, "My relationship with your mother was…"

"I know, I get that," Alison persisted, "But to keep you from your children, to lie about it… especially when Spencer literally couldn't be any closer. I just feel like… I'm missing something."

Mary hesitated, "It's a long story, Alison."

Alison rolled her eyes, "It always is with this family. I'm sick of not knowing anything. I'm sick of thinking I know people and then realising I never did and it's too late to do anything about it because they're dead," she was ranting now, "I thought I was a good liar and no damn wonder. The more I learn about this family, the more I feel my entire life was just one big lie and I refuse to live my own like that – "

"Alison, please," Mary reached across and placed a hand over her niece's, "I know, I know. You're right. You're absolutely right."

Alison watched her expectantly.

Mary took a deep breath, "The truth isn't pretty. Do you really – "

"I want to know," Alison cut in quietly.

Mary watched the determined look on Alison's face.

She nodded, "Okay, but please, can't we wait until Spencer wakes up? I don't want to tell this story twice."

Alison considered it and nodded, "Fair enough," she settled on.

"We should go back," Mary said quietly.

* * *

Spencer's throat felt dry and her eyes heavy. She could hear a faint buzzing which slowly cleared into voices. The words all seemed to run into one another, it was hard to make sense of them. There was a dull ache in her chest. She remembered being shot. Mary. It had been Mary who had stopped Jenna from killing her. She could barely breathe. Someone was singing. It was Mary. She couldn't move but a hand ran through her hair. Mary. But why? Why had she saved her, why had she… _I'd never hurt you. I'm your mother._

Spencer sat up, eyes wide and gulping in what felt like her first breath in forever.

"Spencer!"

She turned to see her friends all watching her. Aria was by her side. Mary was next to her.

"You should lay back," Aria said gently, placing a hand on her friends' shoulder.

Spencer breathed deeply and lay back, feeling dizzy. She looked at her friends, who all watched her closely. She offered a small smile.

"I'm fine," she said.

Hanna rolled her eyes, "Even a bullet can't stop you, Spence. We know that."

"Do you feel okay?" Aria asked, "Do you need anything?"

Spencer looked to her and grimaced, "Water would be great. My mouth is…dry."

Mary turned to the side table and poured a cup of water, handing it to Spencer. Spencer looked her in the eyes, then at the water, back to her eyes and took the water, taking a large sip to wet her mouth and throat.

"I don't know if I was hallucinating but did you…" she tried to sound reasonable, to sound brave, to sound like she wasn't falling apart inside, "You were there when Jenna was going to kill me."

Mary nodded, "I…I knocked her out," she confirmed, "And you weren't hallucinating, Spencer. I'm your mother."

Spencer blinked slowly. She looked to Alison.

"Do you believe this?" she questioned.

Alison looked at her aunt and back to her friend, "I do."

Spencer looked at Mary, "I don't… my parents… "

"You should rest," Mary spoke gently, "It's okay. We can talk later."

Spencer could see the tears in the older woman's eyes, "But I have questions. Like – "

"I know," Mary said soothingly, "I promise I'll answer all of your questions when you're well."

Spencer fought the heaviness in her eyelids, "I can't sleep now. I need to know…"

Her eyelids defeated her and she fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

"You have no right to be here."

Veronica and Mary argued in hushed whispers, slowly getting louder, whilst Peter stood by watching uneasily.

"I'm her mother, Veronica and she knows it," Mary spoke softly.

"You have no idea what a mother is," Veronica shot back.

Mary spoke through gritted teeth, "Only because you and Jessica pushed me aside."

"You weren't capable of looking after a child," Veronica's voice rose slightly, "You don't land in an institution without cause."

Mary took a deep breath, "You think you know everything that went on back then, Veronica," her voice turned cold, "You don't know a thing."

"I know enough," Veronica crossed her arms, "You need to leave."

Mary looked to the door of Spencer's room, "I'm not – "

"Just go," Veronica snapped, "Security will be informed to turn you away. You don't belong here," she turned on heel and walked away. Conversation over.

Peter watched his wife pass into their daughters' room. He approached Mary skittishly, glancing over his shoulder.

"What are you doing here, Mary?"

"What do you think?" Mary asked, exasperated, "She's my daughter – "

"She's raised," Peter cut in, " _We_ raised her. Why now?"

"I heard about Jessica," Mary shrugged, "I didn't want to stay away, Peter. She made me."

Peter frowned, "What do you – "

"She threatened me. Any time I even tried to visit Charlotte or Spencer… you know she was in charge of my care. The last time I visited she had me committed for electro-shock therapy," Mary said desperately.

Peter looked genuinely shocked, "We didn't…didn't know that," he stammered, "Jessica said you would be institutionalised forever. That you weren't fit to be released, let alone to be a mother."

Veronica popped her head out of the room, "Peter, are you coming?" she asked sharply.

Peter looked to his wife and nodded, before turning back to Mary, "We'll talk okay?" was all he said before walking away.

* * *

"No, no," Spencer cried loudly, "He can't be dead."

Veronica held her tightly, "I'm so sorry, honey," she fought back her own tears as she held her shaking daughter in her arms.

"He was going to get away from it all," she whispered, "All of the horror of this town. He didn't deserve this."

"He didn't," Veronica murmured, "He was a very good man. Better for knowing you."

Spencer shook her head, "No. It was the opposite, mom. I was so much better for knowing him. He taught me so much. He helped me through so much, I just can't believe…" her tears stopped her in her tracks.

"I know, I know," Veronica ran a hand over Spencer's back soothingly, letting her cry until her eyes were dry but her pain remained.

* * *

Mary sat in the dark, sipping on a glass of whiskey. Veronica had held true to her word; security wouldn't let her anywhere near Spencer's room. So here she was, alone in the dark.

 _Story of my life,_ she thought bitterly.

She threw down the last of the whiskey and poured another. It was going to be a long night. Or week. Or month. Or however long it would be until she would be able to see her daughter.

But she _would_ see her daughter. She wasn't giving up this time.

* * *

"Honestly, I'm fine," Spencer insisted, "I just want to get out of this hospital and back to my own bed."

Veronica sighed, giving in. She had raised Spencer to be independent, to be strong. She could hardly complain about that now.

"Fine, fine, I'll go and sign the papers."

"Uh-huh," Spencer nodded, "You know we still have a lot to talk about. You can't avoid the conversation forever."

Veronica looked away, "I know," she said quietly, "Let's just get you back home first, okay?" she walked back over to her daughter and kissed her on the forehead, "I love you, Spencer."

Spencer nodded, not replying and watched her mom walk out of the room.

* * *

Alison locked her car and started up the steps to her house. She had been to see Spencer and then out with her friends. It seemed to have been the routine of the last few days. Get up, go to Emily's, drive to the hospital, see Spencer then they'd all realise they'd forgotten to eat so they'd head to the brew.

Then she'd come home and check that Mary hadn't drunk herself into a complete stupor. She was still patiently waiting for the full story there. All Alison really knew was that it sounded like her mom had screwed over yet another person. She couldn't help feeling sympathy for Mary; the older woman really was a wreck. She'd never seen her mom express even an ounce of the emotion that she'd seen in Mary the last few days.

True to recent form, there sit her aunt in the dark, whiskey bottle before her.

Alison switched the light on, "Hey, Aunt Mary."

"Hello, Alison," Mary answered monotonously.

Alison huffed in exasperation and walked over, sitting on the coffee table opposite her aunt, "You can't keep on like this. I know you're hurting but drinking yourself stupid isn't go to make it any better. Don't you know alcohol is a depressant? You're just making it harder on yourself."

Mary blinked slowly, taking her time to reply, "You know, you are nothing like your mother, Alison."

"Well, I'll take that as a compliment from you," Alison supposed.

Mary sighed, "I just mean your mother would be disappointed to see you caring about me. She really did hate me, that woman."

Alison didn't hear her aunt talk about her sister very often. She wanted desperately to ask her a thousand questions but she knew she'd get a better version if Mary was actually sober.

"I spent my whole life afraid of her," Mary muttered, "What a waste. Maybe she was right all along. I should have been stronger. I should have… "

"Aunt Mary, please," Alison took a seat next to her, "She wasn't right. She taught me to be…what she called strong and I shut everyone out. It meant I couldn't connect with anyone. It took me a long time to come back from that. We're humans, we're meant to feel."

"Yes, well…" Mary shrugged morosely.

"Perhaps you should go to bed," Alison said gently.

"It's barely eight," Mary half whined.

Alison sighed, "Well, let's at least turn the tv on. You can't just sit in the dark all night."

She picked up the remote and sat next to her aunt.

* * *

"Mom, dad, please," Spencer pleaded, "I need to know."

Veronica sighed and sat beside her daughter on the bed, "We love you, Spencer."

"I know," Spencer said, exasperated, "But I still need to know."

"I know you do," Veronica said quietly, looking to Peter.

"Are you really my biological dad?" Spencer asked uncertainly.

"Yes," Peter said firmly.

"So you slept with Mary…" Spencer stated the obvious, "And you slept with Jessica. Jeez, you really had a thing for that family," she spoke slightly sarcastically.

"It wasn't my proudest moment, Spencer," Peter hung his head before sighing and looking up, "Your mom and I were having problems, years before you were born. We weren't getting along… I was at a bar, drowning my sorrows one night. Mary had only just got out of Radley and she'd already been fighting with Jessica. She ended up at the same bar and well..."

"Charlotte," Spencer whispered, "You're her dad, too."

"Yes," Peter admitted, clearly embarrassed, "I am…ashamed to say the next time I saw her, years later, another release from Radley I believe, we found ourselves in a… similar situation and…"

"I get it," Spencer muttered, "I don't need the details. But why didn't you ever tell me? Why didn't I ever see her?"

Peter looked to Veronica and back to his daughter, "Jessica approached us to say Mary was pregnant…again. Mary was already back in Radley by this point. Jessica was newly pregnant with Alison… we decided that the baby, that you would be best off with us. Just as she'd decided that she would take in Charles, Charlotte years earlier. Jessica said that her sister had had a total mental breakdown. She told us about how Mary had hurt a baby when she was younger. That she had hurt didn't want her around you and besides, Jessica said that Mary was likely to be institutionalised for the rest of her life. Things were different then, Spencer."

"So you thought you'd never see her again?" Spencer asked.

"We did," Veronica confirmed, "And we all agreed to never speak of it. Any of it. Because we are your parents," she finished firmly.

Spencer nodded slowly, "I know you are, mom. That's not going to change. I just wish I'd known… it would have made things made sense… Didn't you ever think to tell me when I ended up in Radley? Mental illness is hereditary, you know."

"Of course we thought about that connection," Peter shook his head, "We just didn't think it would be any benefit to anybody at that point."

A tense silence hung between the family.

"She saved my life," Spencer said quietly.

Peter and Veronica exchanged nervous glances.

"It doesn't mean you're not my parents," Spencer spoke slowly, "But I need to talk to her… and you need to respect that."

* * *

"Morning."

Mary turned around to see her niece walk into the kitchen, "Good morning."

Alison smiled, "Up to much today?"

Mary frowned, "I don't think so. I thought I'd perhaps sort through some of those papers… see if there's anything we missed."

Alison nodded, "I wish…" she sighed, "It doesn't matter. We're all working together now. No more secrets. Right?"

Mary smiled, "Right. We will find this person, Ali. You will be safe again, all of you."

There was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it," Alison chirped, flouncing off.

She returned with Spencer by her side. Alison looked between Mary and Spencer, a little uneasily.

"Spencer," Mary was surprised and nervous.

Spencer's eyes darted around the room, "I thought we could… talk."

"Of course," Mary nodded.

"Why don't I get everyone something to drink?" Alison asked.

"Coffee."

"Coffee."

The two women spoke at the same time before looking at each other. Alison smiled a little as she walked away to get the drinks. Mary took Spencer through to the lounge and gestured for her to sit down.

"How are you feeling?" Mary asked.

"Oh, I'm okay," Spencer shrugged, "A little sore but nothing I can't deal with."

"I suppose they have you on something to help with that," Mary fiddled with her hands nervously.

Spencer hesitated, "They did but I'm not taking them. I've had issues with pills so I'm avoiding them as best I can."

Mary nodded slowly, "Perhaps that is my fault," she said quietly, "I have had problems with addiction too. Anyway, I'm glad you're feeling better than last time I saw you," she paused, "I'm so sorry about Toby, Spencer."

Spencer closed her eyes, "Thank you. I…I don't want to talk about that right now. It's…just too much and we have other things to be…discussed."

"Of course," Mary complied, "Whatever you need."

Silence filled the air. Alison entered the room, placing the coffee's on the coffee table before them, remaining standing.

"Should I go?" she asked awkwardly.

Mary looked to her and sighed, "No, Alison. I told you I'd tell you everything too…" she looked at Spencer, "If that's okay with you?"

Spencer looked at Alison and nodded, "Sure, it's your family too."

Mary watched as Alison took a seat beside Spencer and both young women watched her expectantly. Mary thought long and hard.

"I don't know where to start," she confessed.

Spencer thought for a moment, "My parents told me you met my dad at a bar. That he's Charlotte's father too."

Alison looked surprised, "Mr Hasting's is Charlotte's dad?" she asked Mary.

"Yes… yes, that's true," Mary confirmed, "He and your mother had had some kind of fight from what I remember. I had just got out of Radley. I was a young woman and I'd spent the better part of my youth in that place. I'd never… " she shook her head, "I'd never had those kind of…relations. When your father showed interest… I responded."

"And then? You ended up in Radley again, right? I don't understand. What was… " Spencer hesitated, "I mean, did they diagnose you?"

"Jessica found out I'd slept with Peter. She was furious. I didn't understand why at the time, but I later found out that she had been having an affair with him," she paused, flinching, "I'm sorry, I don't know if you knew – "

"I knew," Spencer cut in, "I mean, I know he's Jason's father and I know that it was more than a one time thing. So, she had you committed because she was… jealous?"

"I suppose so," Mary said monotonously, "As for my…diagnosis," she spoke bitterly, "It changed over the years. They thought I was psychotic, only someone who was psychotic would hurt a baby… but I never did," she growled slightly, "but nobody believed me. Then they diagnosed me with Intermittent Explosive Disorder… which I suppose wasn't far from the truth. I would get angry and throw things around. I would try to convince the doctors' that I wasn't unwell, that Jessica was telling lies. So then of course, I had schizophrenia. Depression. Bipolar. I think I've been through the whole book."

"Do you believe any of them were true?" Spencer asked quietly.

Mary's face fell as she took a deep breath, "The depression, I suppose I believe. I was on my best behaviour for over a year. Model patient. Eventually, the doctors' convinced Jessica to take me in. She was in charge of my care, had been for years, our parents died young… I ran into Peter, your father, in town. He was the only man I'd ever… had any kind of real feelings for. We caught up a few times, purely platonic. He'd complain about his marriage, I'd complain about Jessica. One night, we were drinking… I've never been very good at knowing when to stop…and well, we spent another night together."

Spencer was transfixed by the history she'd never known, "And you got pregnant… again. Did you…did you love him?"

Mary's face clouded, "I think… I thought I did," she whispered, "When I told Jessica I was pregnant, she was so, so angry. I wanted to tell your father, to work something out with him. I wanted to keep you. I wanted you to be my new beginning…"

Spencer broke her gaze, looking away and fighting the tears that threatened to spill, "What happened?"

"Jessica forbid me to tell Peter," Mary muttered, "She said if I did she would have me re-committed. Little did I know, she was going to do that anyway. She didn't like me being around Charles. He was getting too old, she said, he'd start to have memories of me soon. She was his mother, she said. His only mother."

"So you didn't tell… anyone?" Spencer asked.

"No, I didn't," Mary confirmed, "Then Jessica told me I would have to be sent away again. I couldn't bring this… shame on her family. People were already asking her about my stint in a nuthouse, as they liked to call it. They were bound to ask questions about a new baby. Kenneth was slightly more tolerant but that ended too when she told him and the doctors…"

Spencer and Alison exchanged glances, looking back to Mary curiously.

"What did she tell the doctors', Aunt Mary?" Alison asked.

Mary's shoulders heaved up and down as she took a deep breath, "One day, Charles was playing outside. He tripped and had a graze over his forehead. She grasped the opportunity and told the doctors I… I hurt him," she choked out, clearing her throat, "I would never lay a hand on either of my children."

"That's how she got you sent away," Alison's mind was reeling, "That's so… evil."

Mary wiped her eyes, "At that point, I knew I'd never get out. I thought Jessica would take the baby. I didn't even know that Peter knew about the baby until after you were taken from me. After that, I fell into a deep depression. Post-natal depression, they called it at first. But it never went away."

"Is that why…" Spencer stopped, looking at her hands in her lap.

Mary frowned, "What is it?"

"Why you got electro-shock therapy?" Spencer said quietly.

Mary closed her eyes, exhaling, "Yes and no. The doctors let me out for weekend release. Jessica agreed to it if I promised not to go to Rosewood. I broke that promise. Nearly got caught out by Jason. She was furious. She told the doctors' I'd attempted to take my own life and signed for the electro-shock therapy."

"But you didn't try to… kill yourself?" Spencer asked.

Mary sighed, "The irony is, I did. After the therapy. The first course was… a horrible experience, you can't even imagine… I begged Jessica not to sign on for another course. I told her I'd stay put and I'd be good but the second course was administered anyway."

"But you got out…" Alison wondered aloud.

"Yes, for a number of years I stopped fighting… then I would remember I had two babies out there and one I'd never even held," her eyes shone with tears as she looked at Spencer, "So I fought to get better. Time's changed and even Radley couldn't find any reason to keep me locked up. They were making an effort to sharpen their image," she rolled her eyes, "So, I floated in and out of institutions for a while."

"You never came to find me," Spencer said quietly, sadly.

Mary blinked out a tear, "I did. You and Charles. Jessica had told me Charles was dead. I believed her. She even had records. I wanted to see you, Spencer. I was just so afraid of my sister, of the things she'd done to me… of what would happen if I upset her. She told me to leave Rosewood and never return. And I did. But I did come and see you. I saw you with the Hastings. You seemed happy. They looked at you like they loved you. They had that beautiful house. I thought… they could take better care of you than I ever could."

Spencer swallowed her tears, "I wasn't always happy," she whispered, "I grew up feeling like I didn't belong. Like Melissa was the favourite. I didn't know why, I just didn't… fit."

"I'm so sorry," Mary brushed at her own tears, "I know it's years too late but Spencer," she took her daughters' hands, "I have always loved you. I will always love you."

Spencer looked at their hands and then up to Mary's watery eyes, her own vision blurring through tears. She wrapped her arms around her mother. Mary was surprised but quickly returned the action and pulled the younger woman into her arms, finally holding her daughter after all these years.

Alison nodded and quietly left the room. She'd heard enough.

"I'm so, so sorry," Mary cried, holding onto her daughter tightly.

"I know," Spencer whispered, "It's okay."

Mary wiped her eyes as she pulled back, "How?" she asked, "How is it possibly okay? I'm your mother. I'm meant to protect you – "

"You did," Spencer said, "Jenna was about to kill me. You saved my life."

"But sooner, I could have… I should have… "

"Mary, if anyone can understand doing things you shouldn't do because someone else has complete control of your life… it's me. Us. The girls. We lived like that for a few years. You lived like that…your whole life," Spencer shook her head, "Of course I wish things were different. That I'd known sooner. But I can't blame you for yielding to it… to someone else's… "

"I will never leave you again," Mary promised in a hushed whisper.

"You didn't leave me," Spencer's lips hinted at a smile, "I was taken. That's a pretty big difference."

Mary smiled, her hands on either side of Spencer's face, "You are such a beautiful, young woman. My baby girl. I thought back then, that you could be my new beginning but perhaps now we can both have one," she hesitated, "Wherever you want to go from here," she said softly, "I will respect your wishes but please, just know I will always love you. Now, ten years, twenty years from now. I'll always be here for you. All you have to do is call."

Spencer looked into her mother's eyes in silence a while.

"I want…" she stammered, "I want to know you. This whole thing is just so complicated and there's so much going on right now… I just need things to go slowly."

Mary nodded, "I understand," she spoke softly, "At your own pace. If you have anything you want to know, I'm here. An open book."

Spencer nodded slowly, "Thank you. For…saving my life, for being so honest."

* * *

"Where have you been? You're meant to be resting – "

"I went to see Mary," Spencer said tiredly as she trudged through the lounge.

"Spencer – "

"Please, mom," Spencer sunk down onto the couch, "No lectures. No concern. I can't deal with any more right now."

Veronica nodded, "Okay," she whispered, "Just tell me what I can do, honey."

Spencer lay her head in her mom's lap, "Just… be here."

"Always," Veronica promised.

"Just tell me that I'm wrong," Spencer held back tears, "when I think that life is just a miserable punishment. That nothing is fair. That happiness and safety is just a pipe dream," she couldn't help sobbing now, "That the good guys never win."

Veronica was choked up, seeing her daughter so distraught, "Honey, I wish I could change things for you but please, don't lose hope."

"Eternal misery," Spencer corrected through her tears, "Just look at Toby," she whispered, "A whole new life right around the corner…"

"You're right. Sometimes life isn't fair," Veronica pulled her daughter in her arms, "But sometimes it is extraordinary. And you know Toby only ever wanted the very best for you. He would want you to do what you always do – pick yourself up with that incredible strength that burns inside you. And know that the moments we share with the people we love have to be worth the pain we go through."

Spencer smiled a little, wiping her cheeks, "I know, I just...need to hold onto the pain a little longer."

"I love you, Spencer," Veronica said, "Always have, always will."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey guys, thanks for the comments/favs etc. really appreciate it :) Really love writing this, it's such a different side of some of these characters that hopefully we get to see! I hope you enjoy this second chapter! :) Let me know what you think!**

 **Chapter 2**

Spencer stood alone at the end of the service, staring at Toby's headstone. Still unable to believe that he was really gone. She placed her flowers at the base. It seemed like such a trivial action in the face of death. But what else could she do? She looked up and saw her friends' waiting for her across the road, in front of the church they'd stood outside so many times, same situation, different body. But she'd never felt like this before.

The four girls stopped speaking as she approached.

Spencer sighed, "Don't stop talking on my account."

"How are you?" Hanna asked, "Stupid question, sorry," she muttered.

Spencer shrugged, "I'm okay."

"You want to go and grab a drink?" Emily asked.

Spencer tried to offer a smile, failing miserably, "Sure."

* * *

Half an hour and a couple of drinks later, the five girls sat in the Radley. It was quiet gathering. Nobody really knew what to say.

"A.D's been oddly quiet," Aria said softly, more to fill the silence than anything.

"Maybe it really was Noel," Emily supposed, not sure if she really believed her own words.

"What I want to know is where Jenna disappeared to," Alison pointed out, "That girl is bent on revenge. She's the one to worry about."

"Seems like everyone is," Hanna muttered, "Nobody moves on in this town."

"Nobody gets out of this town," Spencer spoke with finality before standing up, "Guys, I'm going to go."

The others stood up.

"Are you sure?" Emily asked.

"Yeah," Spencer nodded, "I'm just going to go home. Be with my parents for a while."

"Text us if you need anything," Hanna said as she hugged her friend.

"I will, thanks guys," Spencer hugged each of her friends before walking away.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath of fresh air as she got outside. She looked around the quiet streets of Rosewood. She wandered aimlessly down the street, not really knowing where she was going, just knowing she needed to keep moving.

* * *

"You really think she's okay?" Aria asked.

"As okay as anyone could expect," Emily murmured, "How are you and Ezra?"

Aria looked at her in surprise, "Oh, okay. I mean, it's a little…weird Nicole's back. But he told her about us and… I don't know, he's a little distant but I suppose it's an adjustment."

"Yeah, I'll say," Hanna raised her eyebrows, "I mean, they were serious, right?"

"Well, yeah," Aria shifted in her seat.

"I'm sure you have nothing to worry about," Emily offered a small smile.

Hanna leant forward, "Of course you don't. You're engaged. Ezra loves you."

Aria half smiled and looked to Alison.

"How are things at your place?" she asked tentatively.

Alison looked at her, "Uh, okay I suppose. Considering."

"She's leaving Spencer alone, right?" Aria persisted, in concern for her friend.

Alison frowned, nodding, "She is. She's just waiting for Spencer to be ready… I think it's driving her crazy."

"Crazier," Hanna muttered.

Alison glared at her, "She's been through a lot, Hanna."

Hanna pursed her lips and nodded, "Sure, I know."

"Well, Spencer has more to deal with right now than any of us," Emily said, "Who knows when she'll be ready?"

Alison smiled at the brunette, "Yeah, who knows?" she spoke quietly, "Anyway, I should head off. It's getting late."

"I'll walk you," Emily offered, standing up.

Alison nodded, a smile on her face, "Thanks, Em."

They said goodbye to their friends and left Aria and Hanna in the Radley.

"Do they really think we don't know?" Aria smiled.

Hanna grinned back, "Hey, I'm just glad someone found some happiness in all this. Plus, they've been in love forever so it's about time."

"Sometimes it takes time," Aria bit her lip, "I think we both know that."

Hanna nodded, "True," she hummed, "Do we really think Mary is like… innocent? I mean, she could still be A.D, right?"

Aria sighed, "I don't know, Han. She seemed really worried about Spencer…"

"She could be acting," Hanna pointed out, "Or maybe she does care about Spence. Doesn't mean she cares about the rest of us. Charlotte is still her daughter. She could still be trying to avenge her death."

"I really…don't know," Aria rubbed her head in frustration, "But A.D would have texted us by now, even if he or she was going through something. I still think it could have been Noel. He died and the text's just stopped."

"Maybe," Hanna shrugged non committedly, "Still doesn't explain who killed Charlotte."

"Still doesn't explain a lot of things," Aria agreed.

* * *

"Thanks for walking me, Em," Alison said as they walked down the street.

Emily smiled, "Of course," her eyes darted to Alison's hand and back to her face, "Are things really okay at home?"

Alison nodded, "They're alright. Mary's been drowning herself in a lot of research but… nothing but dead ends. Then she gets depressed because she can't find anything…" she shrugged.

"I think we all know that feeling," Emily said sympathetically, "What about you? Are you… okay?"

Alison sighed, "I don't know, Em. I feel like I didn't even know my mom. I know we weren't close but I didn't really she was hiding so much. Or I didn't realise what she was hiding was so…incredibly dark. Evil, even."

Emily bit her lip, "I can't imagine learning all that about family. It doesn't change who you are though, Ali. You're a good person."

"Better for knowing you," Alison said as they stopped before her house, "Are we going to talk about everything on the planet before we talk about… us?"

Emily's cheeks tinted red a little, "So…" she took Alison's hand in her own, "there is an us?"

Alison smiled and pulled on Emily's hand before standing on her tiptoes and kissing Emily's lips briefly, lingering before pulling away.

"There's an us if you want there to be," she murmured.

"Only since we were fourteen," Emily grinned.

"Sorry I made us wait so long," Alison shook her head at herself.

Emily took her hand again, "It's okay," she whispered, "You're worth the wait. Always have been."

* * *

Spencer was dragging her feet now. She still didn't know where she was going. She just had to keep walking. To quiet the noise. Except she'd already taken her shoes off and her feet were getting sore. She settled in a nearby park, tossing her shoes onto the ground and settling on a swing. She stared blankly at the ground, not moving the swing. Just sitting. And staring.

She sighed and looked up at the night sky. Reminding herself how insignificant human life was. She hadn't cried at the funeral, she hadn't dared. It had taken her hours to stop the last time she started. Everyone else had cried. The girls. His parents. Her parents. Yvonne's family. Everyone.

She lowered her head to stare at the bark that surrounded her feet. She kicked at it bitterly, the swing nudging a little beneath her. That's when she heard the movement. Years of being stalked had sharpened her hearing. She looked up and took a deep in-take of breath.

"Mary," she frowned, "What are you doing here?"

Mary had been staring at the ground too and only just now looked up in surprise, "Spencer… I was just… walking around. What are you…"

Spencer shrugged, "Same. I just wanted to be alone, I guess."

Mary forced herself to bite her tongue, "I can go," she said, "I should go. I'll go," she made to turn the way she'd come.

"You could stay," Spencer spoke to the back of the older woman.

Mary turned around, "Are you sure?"

Spencer nodded silently.

Mary offered a small smile and took a seat on the swing next to her daughter.

"I'd ask how the funeral was but it always seems like a pointless question," Mary spoke quietly, watching Spencer closely.

Spencer nodded in agreement.

Mary could see the younger woman didn't want to speak and stared at the ground beneath her feet. She pushed on it gently to swing the seat she sat on.

Spencer sighed heavily, her shoulders rising and falling. She hung her head and squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head slightly.

It pained Mary to see her daughter in so much pain but she didn't want to push her. She didn't have to. Suddenly Spencer stood up, arms crossed and kicking at the ground below her.

"I don't know how to let go," she half-whispered each word in coordination with each angry kick at the ground.

Mary stood up, walking closer to her daughter, "You don't have to," she said quietly, "Not all at once."

Spencer looked at her with wide eyes, "Everyone was crying… and saying all these nice things… I couldn't do either. They asked if I wanted to speak and I… couldn't. After everything and I couldn't say a few stupid words – "

Mary took Spencer's hand and tentatively pulled her into a hug. She held tighter when she felt Spencer's arms wrap around her.

"It's okay," she whispered, "Everybody grieves differently, Spencer. Take your time."

Spencer could feel her body shaking as she cried in her mother's arms.

Mary ran a soothing hand through Spencer's hair, "It's alright. It's alright. I wish I could take away your pain but I can't. I can be here through it though, if you ever need me."

Spencer wiped her tears unceremoniously on Mary's shoulder, sobbing involuntarily.

"I don't know what I need," she whispered.

Mary ran a hand over her back, "That's okay, too," she whispered, "Grief is a tricky thing. It hits each of us differently. It throws our world completely off balance. It's like the direction you thought you were going just… flips on you. More than that, the map you were using changes completely, it's written in another language…and you're not even in the same solar system anymore."

Spencer pulled back and studied the look in Mary's eyes, "Is that what it was like…for you when…"

Mary placed a hand on her daughters' cheek, wiping away a tear with her thumb, "When you were taken from me," she whispered, "Yes. It was."

Spencer blinked and wiped her eyes, "How did you… I mean, how did you go on?"

Mary hesitated, "With a lot of terrible, awful, haunted feelings," she said quietly, "for a very long time. But I just had to find something to believe. I had to believe that my little babies were out there, that they were living better lives than I could ever have given them."

"But you thought Charles was dead… how…"

"It could have destroyed me, Spencer," Mary whispered, clearing her throat slightly, "I thought it would. Then I remembered I still had you. You were still a possibility. That's what has kept me going all these years."

Spencer's eyebrows knitted together, "I thought it might be the anger," she admitted quietly, "At Jessica. At the situations you've been put in…"

"Sometimes," Mary admitted, "The times I let the anger take over though, were always the times I would make bad or dangerous decisions. Really though, all emotions keep us going, Spencer."

Spencer nodded slowly.

"I'm talking too much," Mary smiled, shaking her head, "I'll be quiet."

Spencer smiled tentatively, "It's okay," she claimed, "It's nice to hear something different. I mean all the 'but he would want you to be happy', 'you need to talk about it', 'you need to cry' is nice but it gets old pretty fast. The honesty… it's refreshing."

Mary nodded, "Any time," she promised.

"When I was shot and I was barely conscious," Spencer paused, "All I was focussed on was trying to breathe. It wasn't any of that life before your eyes crap or thinking about the most important people in your life… But I could hear you singing. Just. I mean, it was faint but I could hear it. I couldn't really comprehend anything but your voice… I don't know," she shrugged, "It was nice," she hesitated, "Do you think…"

Mary noted the hesitation, "What is it? You can ask me anything. Really."

"Do you think you could sing to me again?" Spencer barely whispered, her eyes wide.

Mary's eyes widened too and she smiled, "Yes," she said firmly and pulled her daughter back into her arms, "Anything."

Spencer lent against her mother and closed her eyes.

"Hush little baby, don't say a word…"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you for all the positive reviews, really appreciate them :) I warn - I don't think I've ever written a fic with Caleb or Ezra in it but I did my best, so hopefully it comes off okay! Hope you enjoy this chapter, let me know what you think! Thanks for reading guys!**

 **Chapter 3**

"Morning," Alison smiled, "You were out late. Everything okay?"

Mary hesitated before nodding, "Yes… I went for a walk. I ran into Spencer and we spent some time together."

"I knew she wasn't going home," Alison rolled her eyes.

"Is that what she said?" Mary asked curiously.

Alison shrugged, "Yeah, she said she was going home to be with her parents but I wondered…" she paused, "Were things okay?"

Mary smiled, "Yes. They were… good."

Alison nodded, "I'm glad."

"You know this is a big change for you too, Alison," Mary said, "I mean… it means your friend is your cousin. And I know learning all of these things about your mother…"

Alison sighed, "Well, yeah. I just don't know how someone could tell so many lies…for so long," she shook her head, "I feel like I never knew her. I feel like I know you more than I know her and she raised me."

Mary looked sympathetic, "Alison, I'm…I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm sure that in her own way… that Jessica loved you."

Alison watched her aunt closely before smiling, "That was hard for you to say. Thanks for trying, Aunt Mary."

Mary smiled gratefully, "Sorry, you're right. It is hard…"

"It's okay, I get it," Alison reached across and squeezed her aunt's hand, "Don't strain yourself for me. You have every right to... hate her. I'm really glad you're here, Aunt Mary. It's been really nice having an adult who's willing to be so honest."

"Well, it didn't exactly start that way," Mary frowned, "But I'm really glad too. I really didn't think I would like you… I mean, I just mean – "

"You thought I would be the devil's spawn," Alison finished with a quiet chuckle.

Mary tilted her head, "Well… yes," she admitted, "But you're such an amazing, young woman and I am honoured to have had the chance to get to know you."

Alison hugged her aunt, "You'll get the same chance with Spencer," she spoke quietly, "I'm sure of it."

* * *

"You're up early," Caleb said as he woke up on the couch turned makeshift bed and saw Hanna making breakfast. He got up and walked over to her, "Still not sleeping?"

Hanna shrugged, "Not the best."

Caleb kissed her from behind, placing his hands on her hips, "Can I help?" he peppered kisses over her neck gently.

Hanna sighed, "You do," she smiled a little, "I sleep better with you here."

"We'll figure this out, you know," Caleb said firmly.

"Are you talking about us or A.D?" Hanna asked.

Caleb hesitated, "Both," he answered.

"Somehow the silence is just as scary as the texts," Hanna said quietly.

Caleb placed a hand on each of her arms, "I'm not going to let anyone hurt you, Han. We've done it before, we'll do it again."

"Are you talking about us or A.D?" Hanna asked again.

Caleb smiled, "Both."

* * *

"Good morning," Ezra kissed Aria's lips gently as he laid out a tray of food on the bed.

Aria smiled, "Breakfast in bed? What's the occasion?"

Ezra shrugged, smiling sheepishly, "I know things haven't exactly been easy lately. We're engaged two seconds and Nicole… but I just want you to know I'm so happy to be with you. That hasn't changed. It never will."

"That's really nice to hear," Aria spoke quietly, "I just hope it's not some kind of bad omen. I mean, we get engaged and all this terrible stuff…"

"No," Ezra shook his head, "That's not us. That's just life."

"Life in Rosewood," Aria murmured sadly.

Ezra smiled, "Hey, good things happen here sometimes too. We happened here."

"You're right," Aria agreed and looked at the platter before her, "And this looks delicious."

* * *

There was a knock at Spencer's bedroom door. Spencer groaned, not moving from her spot under the blankets.

"Spencer," Veronica's voice floated through the door softly before she heard it open.

Spencer felt the weight of her mom sit on the bed.

"It's almost noon," Veronica said gently, "You were in late last night. How were the girls?"

Spencer groaned internally, "Fine. Everyone was… well, it was a funeral. Everyone was sad."

"Stupid question," Veronica apologised, "Do you need some aspirin?"

Spencer half sat up and shook her head, "No. I'm not hungover. I barely drank," she muttered, "I just… can't sleep," she rubbed her eyes.

"Is there anything I can do?" Veronica asked, desperate to help her daughter but unsure how, "Maybe I should take you to the doctor – "

"No," Spencer said sharply, "I don't want any pills, mom," she said quietly.

"Maybe we could try something natural then," her mom suggested, "Lavender or…"

Spencer fought the urge to roll her eyes. She knew her mom was just trying to help.

"Yeah, I guess," she half smiled as her phone went off. She picked it up and her face paled.

"Everything okay?" Veronica noticed the concerned expression on her daughters' face.

Spencer forced a smile, "Oh. Yeah. Just Aria wants to meet up to start discussing wedding stuff. I should get ready."

Veronica nodded, "Of course," she stood up, "I'll go into town today and get something to help you sleep."

"Thanks, mom," Spencer nodded before averting her eyes to the text on her screen again.

 _Charlotte is still alive – A.D_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry guys, I'm super busy at the moment but another update! :) Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!**

 **Chapter 4**

The five girls sat in Spencer's living room, bewildered once again by another A.D text.

 _Charlotte is still alive – A.D_

"What the hell does this mean?" Hanna asked, phone still in hand.

They all stared at their phones disbelievingly.

Aria shook her head, "We went to her funeral."

"You went to mine, remember?" Alison said quietly, "Mona's too."

Spencer looked at her, "Did you… tell Mary?" she asked hesitantly.

"No, not yet," Alison replied uneasily, "I didn't know… What if it's not true?"

"What if it is?" Emily pointed out.

Hanna huffed in frustration, "Does that mean A.D is Charlotte?"

"No," Alison said quickly before continuing, "That doesn't make sense. A.D was trying to find out who killed Charlotte."

"Maybe A.D thought Charlotte was dead," Spencer said slowly, "But now something has changed… But why would they bother telling us?"

Aria shrugged, "Because as usual, we're A's dolls. We have no idea what's happening."

Spencer shook her head, "A.D has to have a reason for telling us," she thought out loud, "A.D thought Charlotte was dead. That's what they were trying to figure out this whole time. Then Noel dies, Jenna shoots me and everything's changed… A.D found at that Charlotte's alive. But why…"

The girls all watched her expectantly, used to Spencer's brain being able to figure these things out before their own.

"A.D was so quiet since the shooting," Spencer continued, "So we thought maybe it was Noel. He dies, the texts dry up. It was starting to make so much sense. Now it just doesn't. I mean, A.D gets me shot and doesn't send a single text?" her eyes widened as she came to a realisation, "Remember how Mona used to set her texts up? She could have them send whenever she wanted, right?"

The girls nodded.

"Right," Hanna nodded, "But how does that – "

"A.D wouldn't tell us anything unless they had to," Spencer spoke faster now, "The silence was because something _did_ happen to A.D. Maybe it was Noel. Or Jenna. I don't know, but maybe whoever it was had like a fail safe set up. If they didn't touch their computer, log in to their phone, something, in a certain amount of time it would automatically send a text."

"That's a thing?" Alison asked, "I mean, you can do that?"

Spencer shrugged, "Sure. I mean, I'd have to read up on it to actually know how to do it but is it possible? Definitely."

"So, we really think Charlotte's alive?" Aria frowned, "Why would A.D want us to know that?"

"Well, A.D cares about her, right?" Emily asked, "I mean, they wanted to find Charlotte's killer so..." she trailed off, trying to make sense of something.

"Could Charlotte be in trouble?" Alison wondered, "If A.D cared about her… and now that A.D can't text for whatever reason so they set up this auto text thing to tell us she's alive, wouldn't it make sense that maybe Charlotte's in trouble and A.D wants us to find her?"

"That would make sense," Spencer nodded slowly.

"Why would A.D think we would care enough to…" Hanna looked at Alison and stopped talking.

Alison looked conflicted, "If Charlotte was safe… she would tell me. Somehow, she would tell me."

Emily took her hand and squeezed it as the others' were at a loss for words.

"You should tell Mary," Spencer said quietly.

Alison looked at her apprehensively, "But we don't know…"

"Charlotte's her daughter, Ali," Spencer bit her lip, "She deserves to know."

"How do I tell her… " Alison shook her head hopelessly.

Spencer stood up, "I'll come with you," she said firmly.

Alison looked up at her and then stood up, nodding.

The two left, leaving the rest of the girls in a dark cloud of silence. It was Aria who broke the silence first.

"Am I the only one thinking it?" she asked, looking at her friends, "That if Charlotte is alive… A is alive. It's not exactly a comforting thought."

Hanna shook her head, "One A was enough. Now we don't even know what we're dealing with."

"I think it's the only time I've wished for someone in this town to really stay dead," Aria muttered.

Emily shifted uncomfortably, "She's still Ali's family, guys."

Aria nodded, "Spencer's too, I suppose."

"That's just bizarre," Hanna ran her hands through her hair, "Does this mean we're going to go on some kind of save Charlotte mission? I don't know how I feel about that."

"Me either," Aria sighed, "I guess we have a choice to make."

* * *

Mary was humming quietly to herself as she finished washing the last of the dishes. There was a dishwasher, of course, but she just needed to do something to keep her hands busy. She felt useless. She couldn't help find A.D because there were simply no leads. She was grateful for every second she got to spend with Spencer and felt like she may be able to salvage some kind of relationship there. At the same time, she was constantly restraining herself from being too forward. The last thing she wanted to do was act too forcefully and push her daughter away.

She heard the front door open and close. She was surprised when Alison and Spencer walked into the kitchen.

"Is everything okay?" Mary skipped the normal, cursory greeting.

Alison and Spencer exchanged glances.

"We should sit," Alison suggested.

Mary looked nervous but followed the younger women through to the lounge room. Alison and Spencer sat down opposite Mary. Mary watched them both closely as she entwined her fingers together tightly.

Spencer took a deep breath, "We got a new text from A.D."

Mary tensed, "You did? What did it say?"

Alison and Spencer looked at one another.

"What is it?" Mary pressed.

"We don't even know if it's true but… " Alison hesitated, "It says Charlotte is alive."

Mary blinked, bewildered. She hadn't even realised she'd stopped breathing until she was forced to take in a gulping breath.

"Can I see it?" she asked weakly.

Spencer fished her phone out and handed it over.

"Thank you," Mary said quietly before looking at the screen, one hand going to her mouth, "Oh my god. This is the first thing you've had since you were…shot?"

Spencer nodded, "Yeah. We have a…sort of theory on that," she watched Mary carefully, "but I know we've just hit you with this… so if – "

"Please, tell me your theory," Mary requested, still trying to compose herself.

Spencer explained about her theory on the texts being A.D's fail safe and the possibility that Charlotte could be in trouble.

"You think someone's hurting her?" Mary asked quietly.

"We don't know," Alison sighed, running her fingers through her hair, "But maybe."

Mary closed her eyes.

Alison's phone rang. Alison looked at Spencer and then Mary. Spencer nodded and Alison answered her phone, wandering away.

Spencer reached out a hand and lay it on Mary's, "Are you okay?"

Mary startled slightly, opening her eyes to see her daughters' hand covering her own, "I want nothing more for Charlotte to be alive," she whispered, "But I can't stand the thought of anyone hurting her."

Spencer nodded.

"I know everything she put you and Alison…and your friends through," Mary spoke tersely, "but she's my daughter. I love her," she paused, "Just like I love you."

Spencer swallowed tightly and nodded stiffly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," Mary whispered.

"I know," Spencer nodded, "It's okay. I just… it's really… overwhelming. Not just…" she sighed, "Not just this. You. I mean, Charlotte is somehow my family now and I don't know how I'm meant to feel about that."

"I can't imagine how you must be feeling," Mary spoke softly, "You have so much going on… " she smiled slightly, "but you're so strong, Spencer."

Spencer shrugged, looking away as Alison re-entered the room.

"That was Hanna," she said, "Her and Caleb managed to get into Jenna's room at the Radley. They got her laptop. They're going through her files now. All they found of Noel's was an old burner phone but they'll go through that too."

Spencer nodded, still lost in a thousand thoughts.

"Do you really think…she could be alive?" Mary's voice cracked.

"I don't know," Alison murmured, "I hope so."

"Do you really think they'll find anything on the laptop?" Mary asked.

Spencer felt sympathy for the older women; all she wanted she was reassurance. She really was the opposite of Jessica. She tried, but failed, to hide her vulnerability.

"Caleb's really good at that stuff," Spencer answered, "If there's something to find, he'll find it."

* * *

"I still don't know how you do that," Hanna stood behind Caleb as the lock screen of the laptop dissipated.

Caleb looked at her, a small smile on his face, "Tricks of the trade," he looked back to the screen.

"How do we even know what to look for?" Hanna lent down to look at the screen over Caleb's shoulder.

"First thing's first. Any file to do with A.D or Charlotte Dilaurentis – "

"Or Charlotte Drake," Hanna pointed out, "Archer Dunhill."

"Or that," Caleb agreed, "This could take a while. Ready?"

Hanna sighed, "Ready for some answers."

"I'll do my best," Caleb promised.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Spencer asked Alison as Mary left the room to make some coffee, despite her already shaking hands.

Alison looked at her, "I don't know. I don't think I can…comprehend that Charlotte could be alive. After all this time…"

Spencer nodded, "It just doesn't seem real," she said slowly, "I know the feeling."

The two shared a look before the doorbell rung. It was Emily. She hugged her girlfriend.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay," she murmured.

Alison lent into the taller woman, taking comfort in the embrace, "I'm… okay."

Emily nodded and looked at Spencer, "And you?"

Spencer smiled at the concern in Emily's eyes, "I'm alright. It's just the waiting I hate. The sitting here doing nothing."

"I hate it too," Mary re-entered the room and placed the drinks of the table, "My daughter could be alive and I'm standing here drinking coffee."

Right on cue, Spencer's phone begun to ring.

"Hanna? What is it?" she spoke quickly.

"You guys need to get over here. Now."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Another instalment! We're getting there and yes, I already have (most of) this planned out ahead. I hope you enjoy! Read and review, always appreciate hearing from readers :)**

 **Chapter 5**

"Oh my god."

It fell from more than one pair of lips as the girls looked at the photo displayed on the laptop that Hanna and Caleb had been working on all afternoon.

"Is it real?" Alison asked, "I mean, could it be fake… doctored…"

Caleb looked at her, "From everything I can tell, it appears to be real."

Alison nodded and looked at Mary, who had been surprisingly quiet. Her eyes were fixed on the screen, clearly fighting to keep the tears restrained. She stared at a photo of her daughter, of Charlotte. She was locked in a cage. She looked hurt or at least scared. Miserable.

"Can't you track it?" Emily was asking, "Doesn't it have a code or something to trace it back to the sender?"

Caleb sighed, "Sure, but it's been bounced off a thousand different IP's. It makes it nearly impossible to trace."

Mary cleared her throat, finally tearing her eyes away from the photo, " _Nearly_ impossible?"

"I'm still working on it," Caleb explained, "But don't get your hopes up."

Spencer was still staring at the computer. She blocked out the sounds of the others' talking. She dragged it closer to her and squinted her eyes, studying every inch of it. For some detail, for some kind of hint. Time and time again.

Mary watched her daughter studying the screen intensely. Spencer squeezed her eyes closed for a few seconds before trying again. She shook her head in frustration.

"Nothing?"

Spencer turned and saw Mary watching her, with those scared-to-be-hopeful eyes, "Nothing," she spoke quietly.

"It's okay," Mary took a deep breath.

"Caleb?" Spencer asked, "Could you send me a copy of this?"

Caleb smiled, "Already done."

* * *

"Nobody should be locked up like that."

Aria and Caleb looked at Hanna, surprised.

She shrugged, "I know she did it to us. I just… We have no idea what's happening where she is. Unless it's the same person that had me then I know exactly what's happening. And nobody deserves that."

"I don't know if I can feel bad for Charlotte," Aria admitted quietly, "But I feel bad for Alison. Even Mary. She seems so… "

"Broken," Hanna finished, "Must be…weird for Spencer too. I mean, Charlotte is sort of her sister."

Caleb was tapping away on the computer, still trying to run a trace on the photo.

"Maybe Spencer will be able to pick something up," he said, not taking his gaze away from the computer, "She's the one with the eye for detail. She's got a pretty advanced photo editing program on her laptop."

"And us? What can we do?" Hanna asked grudgingly.

Caleb spun his chair to look at her, "I don't know," he admitted, "It's a bit of a sit and wait game."

"Great," Aria mumbled, "Sit and wait."

* * *

"Ali… are you… okay?" Emily watched her girlfriend closely.

Alison glanced at her as she continued making drinks, keeping her hands busy, "I just… hasn't she been through enough?" she paused, her voice strained, "Haven't we all been through enough?"

Emily stepped closer to Alison, "More than enough," she murmured.

"When does it all stop?" Alison leant into Emily's embrace.

"I don't know," Emily said honestly, hesitating, "How do you feel… about her being alive?"

Alison looked up at her, "Of course I want her to be alive," she said wide eyed, "I wanted her here… in Rosewood. In this town. I wanted to be a real family… I still want that."

Emily pulled the corner of her lip into her mouth before speaking, "Even though we know she was seeing Archer, that – "

"Okay, sure there are questions," Alison shook her head, "Maybe…she's not as well as I thought. If Archer was her doctor, maybe she never really got the help she needs. I don't know. She's still my family and I can't just… not care about her."

Emily nodded, "I know, Ali. I just want you to be careful."

Alison smiled a little, "You too," she played with Emily's fingers before looking into her eyes, "I just want her to be safe. Even if she was lying… she doesn't deserve… " she closed her eyes, "It's like knowing you were in the dollhouse all over again," she whispered.

Emily's eyes widened; they didn't talk about the dollhouse much. Especially not what it was like for Alison knowing all her friends' were down there and there was nothing she could do about it. The added knowledge that it was all about Alison didn't help lessen her guilt.

"But you got us back," Emily said firmly, "And we'll get Charlotte back too."

Alison smiled, partly in disbelief, "You're amazing, Em. After everything she put through… you all through and you're still here. I mean, it would be so easy for all of you to say it's what she deserves and leave her to it but for some reason, you're all still helping."

Emily squeezed Alison's hand, "Because we love _you_ , Ali."

* * *

Spencer was distracted. She was trying to concentrate on the screen of her laptop, on the photo. Changing lighting, changing saturation, changing colours, changing everything and trying to see if she could pick up any clue. Zooming in, zooming out. But she could feel the flood of energy coming from Mary sitting opposite her.

"Are you okay?" Spencer asked, looking up from her laptop and placing it on the coffee table in front of her.

Mary raised her head, a pained expression on her face, "Okay? I suppose. I don't know. I just want…to do something."

Spencer nodded, "Sure, but you've had no time to adjust…to the fact that your daughter might be alive. It must be… I can't pretend to know what it must be."

"It's… confusing," Mary barely whispered, "I'm happy she's alive. Of course I am. I want to know her just like I want to know you. But the fact that she's living like that… caged like an animal, going through… god knows… " she lay her face in her hands before wiping her tears, "I know she's done some awful things, but who would do something like this to my baby?"

Spencer swallowed tightly, "We're on your side. We want to find her too," she said, "Even if just for you and Alison," she reached for Mary's hand tentatively, "I know you love her. I know…you love me. I mean, I can see it… I just want you to know I care about you too."

Mary's eyes were wide with tears, "Thank you, Spencer," her voice was hoarse.

Spencer nodded as Mary's hands covered her own and two sat in comfortable silence for a few moments. Then Spencer broke away and grabbed a pen and pad from the table, scribbling something down quickly.

"What is it?"

Spencer frowned, still writing, "We've all been so caught up in the fact that she's alive," she said, "and trying to track down the photo but what about the old fashioned way for once? There really can't be that many people Charlotte hurt. That are still alive. I mean, there's us girls and it's not us. Wilden's dead. Bethany's dead. Archer's dead. Sara's dead. She could have been manipulating Noel… but he's dead. We don't know where Jenna is but she made it sound like her and Charlotte were friends, still that's a possibility."

"What are you doing?" Alison asked as her and Emily wandered back into the room.

Spencer looked up briefly, "What we should have done when we first got that photo. Making a list. Anyone who has something to hold against Charlotte."

"What about Mona?" Alison asked, "She has just as much motive as anyone. More maybe."

Spencer added the name to her list, before hesitating, "What about Jason?"

Both Mary and Alison looked surprised.

"He wouldn't…"

Spencer grimaced, "You said he was mad…when we first found out. He wouldn't talk to Charlotte or visit her."

"Yeah, but he wouldn't – " Alison insisted.

"I know, Ali. But… we never thought Mona would be A or Charlotte would be A. If we're going to make a list it has to include everyone," Spencer stated matter of fact.

"Well, okay, how about Mr Montgomery?"

Spencer added another name to the list with a nod.

"And what about Melissa?" Emily asked quietly.

Spencer looked at her, sighed and added her to the list.

"Paige?" Alison shrugged when Emily looked at her, "Through association."

The four sat in silence for a while.

"Who else is left alive that would want to hurt her?" Spencer tried to think.

"It could be somebody from the institution," Mary said quietly, "Trust me, it's an easy place to make enemies."

Spencer nodded and wrote it down.

"Someone out at the Amish farm?" Emily suggested, "Never got the full story there. Maybe it's more to do with Archer than Charlotte."

Spencer shook her hand cramps away as she continued to scribble down the names. Some more likely than others, but they needed to get all the possibilities down.

"We should ask the others if they can think of anyone too," she said, "I really can't think of anyone else."

She looked at the others' questioningly but they all shook their heads. Mary took the piece of paper from Spencer and read the names.

"She upset a lot of people," Mary said quietly.

* * *

Spencer was still staring at the paper hours later, so hard as though willing an answer to jump right off the page. She sighed and looked up at her friends.

She looked at Hanna, "I hate to say it but she really does seem to have the strongest motivation."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry it's been a while! I have had a lot on, including working on my debut novel (stay tuned!) If anyone has some time to do some beta reader work, hit me up and we can have a chat :)**

 **Chapter 6**

"No, she wouldn't go back to that. She's better now," Hanna spoke with her arms crossed, "Why her? Why not any of those other names?"

Spencer bit her tongue, watching her defensive friend, "Mona would just make sense – "

"How?" Hanna cut in, "How would she make more sense than anyone else?"

Spencer stood up and began pacing the room as she spoke, "She has a really, really strong motive. We were in the dollhouse a few weeks. She was there for over five months. Charlotte used her more than anyone. And we know what happens to people who wrong Mona. She's gone to extreme's before. She knows how to do this, how to stay hidden, how to… play the game. Caleb can trace anything but he can't trace this? The only people who ever give him tech trouble has been Charlotte…and Mona."

Mary was nodding quietly.

The others' were thinking, some in agreeance, some not.

"She's my friend," Hanna said quietly.

"I know," Spencer sighed, "But that only makes this make more sense. She's attacking Charlotte, not us. You're right. She's your friend, she's sorry for hurting you. Maybe she's taking revenge for what Charlotte did to you too."

"How much have you spoken to her lately?" Alison asked.

Hanna looked at her, "Not much. She's been in and out of town… she's been working on some campaign up in the city."

"So she could have been tending to someone she has locked up…" Spencer concluded.

"But when I have seen her, she's been fine," Hanna insisted before running her fingers through her hair, turning to Caleb, "You've spent time with her, do you really think…"

Caleb frowned, "She's seemed… fine. Normal. She wants to catch whoever's doing this to you as much as I do."

"Exactly," Spencer said firmly, "A.D isn't after her at all but she still injected herself into the situation. For you, Han. Who's to say she wouldn't go after anyone who has hurt you?"

"Spencer's right," Caleb shifted uneasily, "She does have the smarts to bounce around that email."

"I'm going to text her," Hanna stood up and pulled her phone out.

"And say what?" Alison asked.

"I'll just see where she is. If she can meet up. If it's her, I can… I can help," Hanna said.

"Help how?" Mary asked warily, "Help her torture my daughter?"

The air grew tense.

"Like she's a saint," Aria muttered.

Mary opened her mouth but closed it without replying. She knew she couldn't really jump to Charlotte's defence. It was just hard for her to come to terms with the things' her daughter had done to these girls.

"No, I can talk her into telling me if she's involved in this," Hanna was determined, "I couldn't… I didn't help or even notice she was unwell last time. If this is her, I need to help her."

"She could be dangerous, Han," Caleb took her hand, "Why don't you just meet up with her, catch up and then we can tail her from there? See where she goes?"

* * *

"Did you ever… get to speak to Charlotte about the things she put you through?" Mary asked quietly. The two had been left alone once again.

Spencer shook her head, "No, not really. The last time I saw her was that night… on the roof of Radley when she was taken away."

Mary watched her closely, "Did she ever try to…"

"Contact me?" Spencer guessed, "Once," she admitted quietly, "She wrote me a letter. Well, she wrote to all of us. None of us replied."

"What did she say?" Mary wondered.

Spencer sighed, "Not much. I think the letters were all similar. She basically said she wanted to see us, wanted to talk about things. It was like barely a year after… everything, it was still so raw."

"I understand," Mary looked down at her clasped hands, "Did you… would you have spoken to her if it had been later… "

Spencer smiled, "Extreme version of refereeing sibling rivalry, isn't it?"

Mary blinked in surprise before chuckling, "I suppose it is. You've never referred to her as your sibling before."

"No," Spencer said slowly, "I guess I haven't. I don't really think of her that way… Maybe I will eventually. I mean, Melissa will always be my sister."

"Of course," Mary nodded, "I suppose family is more like than just blood. The Hastings' raised you. All I did was give birth to you."

Spencer thought for a moment, not wanting to say the wrong thing but not wanting to lie either, "I don't know," she said slowly, "My parents are my parents, that's not going to change but like I've said… I always felt different. And there was like this instant… connection with you, even though I had no idea why, it was just like… I knew you."

Mary bit her tongue, "Really? Do you mean that?"

"Yeah," Spencer nodded, "It's like when we were in the dollhouse and Charles… Charlotte was in a mask and she was standing right there and I didn't know it was Charlotte, but it just felt like someone I knew, you know? It didn't make sense to me for a long time but I don't know, maybe it's some kind of weird family thing."

"Perhaps," Mary whispered, hesitating before she asked, "Do you hate her?"

Spencer's eyebrows knitted together, "No, I don't," she replied honestly, "Everything she did to us as A is really hard to just forget, or move on from. It was some of the worst years of my life. But everything she went through was… awful. I don't know, I feel like I'd just stopped thinking about it, dreaming about it and then I find out she's my… sister. It changes things."

Mary closed her eyes, "I'm sorry," she murmured, "I've made your life so complicated."

Spencer shrugged, "It's fine – "

"No, it's not – "

"No, really," Spencer insisted, "I mean, the circumstances suck but I really am glad to have met you. I feel… I don't know, I like being around you."

Mary's eyes welled up and she pulled a surprise, but responsive Spencer into her arms.

"We'll find her," Spencer promised, "If I'm wrong and it's not Mona, we'll just go through the whole list until we figure it out."

Mary smiled, "I get the feeling you're not wrong very often."

* * *

"Mona, where are we going?" Hanna asked, a little warily as her friend pulled over to the side of a quiet road.

Mona turned the ignition off and looked at her, "You're terrible at acting," she said quietly, "You know, don't you?"


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry its been a while guys! As I think I've mentioned, I'm working on an original novel so obviously that's taking up most of my time atm! Hoping to write the next chapter soon though cause obviously it's about to get REAL! Enjoy! :)**

 **Chapter 7**

"Know what?" Hanna cursed the shake in her voice.

Mona stared straight ahead, "She deserves it. You know she deserves it."

Hanna ground her teeth, "Maybe," she said quietly, "But you don't. You're gonna wind up in Radley again. Is that seriously what you want?"

"Not if I'm not caught," Mona said, looking to her, "Who else knows?"

Hanna looked away.

"All of them? Even Ali?"

"Even Ali," Hanna whispered.

"Well… that puts a spanner in the works," Mona sighed, "But come on, you guys know she deserves hell. Everything she put us through… I was down in that hole for months, Hanna. You don't know what it was like. We never really spoke about it."

"So let's talk about it," Hanna said, "Please. Just let her go, I'll keep the others quiet."

Mona rolled her eyes, "Bull. The others maybe. But Ali defends that bitch like she's a saint," she looked directly at her friend, "She's not a saint, Hanna. She's the devil."

Hanna bit her tongue; she knew it wasn't going to help anything to disagree, "Fine, she's the devil. I get it. She put us through hell for years. But how does it end? What are you going to do with her?"

Mona shrugged, "Everything she did to us, Han. Isolate her. Make her feel helpless and hopeless. Put her deaths door and then yank her back to living."

Hanna sat quietly, trying not to show her fear.

"Can you take me to her?"

She held her breath as Mona looked at her curiously.

"Why?" Mona asked.

"I've never seen her, like, defenceless," Hanna whispered, "She's still this… scary shadow."

Mona smiled, "See? Talking doesn't help everything. Some thing's need a different kind of therapy."

She raised her hand and turned the keys in the ignition.

* * *

"Hang back a little more, if she sees us, we're done," Spencer leant forward, watching the gps from the back seat.

Caleb nodded, not speaking.

"She won't hurt Hanna," Spencer read his mind, "You heard her. Half the reason she's doing it is for Hanna."

Mary's eyes were glued the gps as their little red dot moved closer to the little blue dot that was Mona's car. Alison stared out the window, not really seeing the passing bush. She could feel Emily squeezed in tightly beside her. Could feel her girlfriends' hand on her knee. She remembered the last time she'd seen Charlotte. They'd argued and moments later, Charlotte had been 'dead'. The argument didn't matter now. Especially since it was over Archie. Alison just wanted to see her big sister.

She caught Mary's eye as she tore her gaze from the passing landscape. She offered the slightest of smiles before her eyes slipped to the gps screen.

"She's stopped," Aria pointed out from the front passenger seat.

"How far away are we?" Mary asked quickly.

Caleb looked at the gps, "Less than five minutes," he said, "We'll park a ways back, just in case."

"You okay?" Spencer asked Mary, who sat beside her.

Mary looked at her wide eyed, "I have no idea," she whispered.

Spencer knew how her biological mom felt. She nodded and took Mary's hand between both of her own, squeezing tightly. Mary smiled, feeling the tiniest amount of relief.

They all sat in silence as the car crawled down a dark, dirt road. Eventually, it came to a stop before a bend. The engine rattled before quieting. They'd driven nearly an hour. They were in the middle of nowhere, not knowing what waited around the bend.

"Now what?" Aria asked.

Silence hung in the car for a few moments.

"Now, I'm going to get my daughter back," Mary said quietly.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: ENJOY!**

 **Chapter 8**

"Ready?" Alison asked as they moved quietly up the dark road.

"I've been ready for over twenty years," Mary said quietly, "I just hope we're not too late. What if – "

"Mona's not a killer," Spencer said firmly, "Charlotte will be fine."

She nearly believed her own words. They'd all seen what Mona could do when she snapped. She'd hit Hanna, her own best friend, with a car. She could have very easily been a killer. And the way her voice had sounded on that tape… Mona's head was in a bad place. A dangerous place.

"She's strong, right?" Mary was trying to convince herself.

Alison nodded, "Really strong."

None of them could imagine what Mary was thinking or feeling. She'd waited for over twenty years for the chance to lay her eyes on her daughter again. She couldn't believe, after all this time, that she might finally be able to be reunited with Charlotte. She'd thought Spencer was a blessing but the realisation that she could soon have her own family.

She shook her head, trying not to get too far ahead of herself. One step at a time. First, they had to rescue Charlotte.

* * *

"You can't let her out," Mona said quietly as she spun the combination of a thick, steel door.

Hanna nodded, "I know. I don't want to let her out. I just want to see her."

Mona shrugged, "Fine, but then we seriously need to talk."

The look in her friends' eye made Hanna nervous but she nodded, trying to act normal. She followed Mona through the door, being sure to slip a wedge of wood between the door and the wall with her foot.

Hanna's mind didn't know what to do with what her eyes saw next. In the middle of a bare, almost sterile-like room lay a large cage. And there she was. A. The woman who had haunted not just her dreams but her whole life. Who was responsible for the way she flinched at every bump in the night. Why she was never quite sure that she could trust anyone. There she was, clad in that black hoodie that had haunted her dreams.

Hanna felt her breath catch in her throat. It was stupid, she thought, the woman's in a goddamn cage. And look at her. She looked terrible. Desperate. Weak, even.

She sat on the bare ground of the cage, looking up. Her mess of blonde hair hung unwashed. She looked skinnier than Hanna remembered. Her face was sunken, making her eyes look bigger, wider than usual. The shadows under her eyes were dark, the bags prominent.

"She's my doll now," Mona murmured as she stepped up to the bars of the cage, looking at the older woman with a smirk on her face. Like she was a not a broken woman, but a prize and a prize Mona was proud to have.

"She's no doll."

Mona spun around at the sound of a new voice.

"She's my daughter."

Mary stepped into the room, holding her clenched fists at her sides. She could feel her whole body shaking. Her eyes were on Charlotte, not wavering. Charlotte looked back at her, surprise evident in her eyes.

"Mommy?" she whispered, "But I saw you… you were dead."

Mary blinked in surprise and Alison emerged next to her.

"Ali…"

Charlotte stood up and pressed her face to the bars of her prison. Her eyes still lay on Mary, confusion etched into her face. Hanna, with help from Caleb took Mona from the room. Sure, Charlotte wasn't their favourite person but Mary had saved Spencer's life. She was a decent person. She deserved an uninterrupted reunion with her daughter. She squeezed Spencer's hand as she left them all to it.

Alison put her hand through the bars to take her sisters hand, "Charlotte, it's not mom," she looked at Mary, "This is Mary. Mary Drake."

Charlotte blinked rapidly and she looked at Mary, "Mary Drake?" she asked weakly, "My biological mother?"

Mary nervously shuffled forward, "Yes, that's right," she whispered, "You didn't know Jessica had a twin, did you?"

Charlotte shook her head wordlessly. She looked at Alison.

"Did you know…"

Alison squeezed her hand, "Not until recently. Seems like almost nobody had any idea… but mom took you away from Mary… She told her you were dead."

"You were in Radley too," Charlotte's voice was hoarse, "The papers, they say I was born I was born in Radley."

Mary couldn't stop staring at the young woman before her, "I've waited so long… I thought I'd lost my chance," her voice broke on her as the tears begun to feel down her face, "I never once stopped thinking about you or loving you. I know this is such a bizarre situation," she wept openly now, "but I am so blessed to be reunited with both of my daughters."

Charlotte blinked slowly, "Both? I knew I had another sibling but I could never track down when they ended up."

Mary hesitated before looking behind her and holding a hand out. Spencer took it and stepped into the light.

"Spencer?" Charlotte's voice was laced with shock, "No way."

Spencer nodded, "Pretty much my reaction. Guess we are related, huh."

"Huh," Charlotte echoed, the world beginning to swim before her eyes, "I can't… why didn't mom ever tell us she had a twin? Why did… Why Spencer? Why did – "

"Hey," Alison squeezed her sisters' hand through the bars again, "I know you've got questions but first, we really need to get you out of here, okay?"

Charlotte nodded.

"I promise I'll answer everything," Mary whispered, "Now, how do we get her out of this thing?"

Spencer pulled a bobby pin, "Easily when you have the tools," she smiled at Charlotte, "Like I said, we really are related."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Another update. Please let me know how you like it and if you have any ideas, always happy to hear those too! Still currently looking for beta readers for my original novel, if anyone's interested hit me up! Thanks guys!**

 **Chapter 9**

"I can't believe you did this," Mona shrieked when she realised her prize prisoner was gone, "After everything she put us through…"

Hanna fought tears at seeing her friend in this state again, "You need help," she said quietly.

"There was no better therapy than locking that bitch up like she did to me for five whole months," Mona growled.

Hanna stood in front of her, blocking her from leaving the room, "Please. I didn't help you last time, let me help you now."

"I'm not your pet project, Hanna," Mona grumbled.

"No, you're not," Hanna agreed, "You're my friend."

It was then that the sirens begun to grow closer.

* * *

Charlotte stared from the backseat at Mary, at her mom, who sat in the front passenger seat. She couldn't believe it. She knew it was rude to stare but she couldn't help it. She felt a touch on her hand and snapped her gaze away from Mary to look at her sister beside her. She couldn't help smiling a little.

"Ali, I'm sorry."

Alison's face softened, "It's okay," she whispered before hesitating, biting her tongue.

"What is it?" Charlotte asked quietly.

"Were you and Jenna really friends?" Alison asked.

Charlotte sighed, "Yeah, we were. We are," she bit her lip, remembering the image of her friend being found and loaded into the ambulance only twenty minutes earlier, "I hope she'll be okay."

Alison watched her warily, "Did she say anything? We know she was there at the house, we thought she shot Spencer but – "

"No, no," Charlotte shook her head, "She didn't hurt Spencer," she saw Spencer's eyes flick from the road to the rear-view mirror as she drove, "She was following you, looking for me. She set up a fail safe text, I taught her how to do it ages ago. She's not the bad guy, Ali."

Alison nodded, "If you say so."

"So that means it was Mona," Spencer deducted, "But why? I thought she was just after you," she said to Charlotte, "Why me?"

"Because you're the smartest," Charlotte answered, "If anyone was going to figure it out, it would be you."

Spencer shrugged silently as she pulled into the Dilaurentis driveway.

Charlotte closed the car door and stared at the house apprehensively. Then at Mary. Then at the house again.

"You okay?" Alison asked.

"Yeah, just… I always wanted to be here, Ali. It was all I'd think about in that room…" she shrugged, smiling sheepishly.

"Let's go inside," Alison said quietly, "We've got a lot to talk about."

* * *

"I can't believe mom would keep so much from me," Charlotte said quietly as Mary told her story once again.

It pained Mary to see the love that shone in her daughters' eyes for Jessica.

"She kept it from almost everyone," Alison replied gently.

Charlotte looked at her, "And that means you're not really my little sister," she said sadly, "I thought maybe Kenneth might still be my biological father, though I can't say I'm disappointed that he's not…," she looked conflicted.

Alison smiled, "I'll always be your little sister, Charlie."

Charlotte nodded, grimacing slightly as she tried to smile.

Mary's fingers were laced together tightly as she seemed unable to take her eyes off of her daughter.

"I'm… I'm sorry I didn't find you sooner," Mary spoke quietly, "I wish… I wish things were so different."

Charlotte looked at the older woman; she had her mom's face but she seemed so broken. She'd never seen Jessica look like that.

"Elliott really used you," Charlotte sighed, "And I can't even be mad at him because I've done so much worse."

"He did… but I'm a grown woman and I made my own mistakes too," Mary said slowly, "Were you and him – "

"Convenient," Charlotte cut in, "That's all. I never expected him to fall so hard… though I suppose he fell harder for the money than me."

Mary shifted in her spot, reaching her hand tentatively towards her daughters, "Charlotte," she stopped, gritting her teeth before gathering herself enough to continue, "I know I have no right to ask. But I also know you haven't had the life you deserved. You've been mistreated and used… I don't want to bring you any more pain. If you want me to walk away, I will but I'd really, really like to show you the love you deserve."

Charlotte blinked slowly, her brow furrowing in thought, "Mom loved me," she said quietly.

Mary tried not to flinch, "Perhaps she did," she forced herself to say, "Your relationship with Jessica was your own… "

Charlotte could read the pain on her biological mothers face, "She was good to me. At least, I thought she was," she whispered.

Alison squeezed her sisters' hand, "Maybe she really did care about you, Charlotte," she murmured, "Maybe she thought what she was doing…"

Charlotte looked at Mary, "But she did such awful things to Mary. I can't…"

"It's not a mystery to be solved with one conversation," Alison smiled a little.

Charlotte nodded, "Or maybe at all," she hesitated, "Ali, is it okay if I talk to Mary alone for a bit?"

Alison nodded, "Oh, sure. Of course," she stood up and left the mother and daughter to talk alone.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Two nights in a row, yep! I got inspired! Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 10**

"Did you kill my mom?" Charlotte asked quietly, watching Mary closely.

Mary's eyes widened, "No," she said firmly, "I didn't kill Jessica. I don't know who did."

Charlotte pulled her bottom lip into her mouth before speaking, "From everything you've said… you had every reason to."

"Charlotte, I hadn't seen Jessica for years," she promised, "I promise I had nothing to do with it."

Charlotte's shoulder heaved as she sighed.

"I wish I had more answers for you," Mary whispered, "But if I can help you find out who killed Jessica, I will."

Charlotte frowned, "Why would you do that? You hated her."

"Perhaps… but I love you," Mary said steadily.

"Don't you know all the bad things I've done? Don't you think I'm a bad person or – "

Mary moved closer to her daughter and took her hand, "Charlotte, I could never hate you. All I ever wanted was to love you. I know you've made some… very big mistakes. But good people can make mistakes… I think you're a very complicated… and traumatised young woman."

Charlotte couldn't detect a trace of a lie in the older woman's voice, "But what about what I am… you gave birth to a little boy, now I'm…"

"A beautiful young woman," Mary finished.

Charlotte saw the tears in her mother's eyes, "If you'd been around… before… when I was little and started wearing girl's clothes… or started playing the game, what would you have done then?"

Mary felt like she was being tested but she complied by answering, "I wouldn't judge you, Charlotte. I'd just ask why. When you were little and later on, when you started doing bad things… I'd just want to understand you. Talk to you. Help you. Make you realise you're a good person, just a little lost. Love you unconditionally."

Charlotte sniffed, trying to swallow her tears.

"All I want is that chance, Charlotte," Mary looked at their hands, noticing her daughter hadn't pulled away, "I know it's so, very complicated but… you're my little girl. My whole life all I ever wanted was a family. A loving family."

Charlotte sniffed again, "So did I," she whispered, "Dad was such a jerk. I couldn't tell Ali who I really was… All I had was mom and I still have to believe she loved me and I know you hate her – "

"It's okay," Mary squeezed her hand, "I suppose, in a way, I'm glad you felt love from someone. I can't change the way I feel about my sister and I don't expect you to either."

"Some of the things you say she did…" Charlotte took a deep breath, "I can't even imagine her being like that. It's… it's horrible and I want to be angry at her. I am angry at her, for treating you so terribly… I'm just so… confused."

"And I'm sorry for that," Mary said quietly.

Charlotte shrugged, "It's not your fault. Maybe I never knew who she really was. I don't know."

"It doesn't mean she didn't love you," Mary couldn't believe she was protecting her twin sister.

Charlotte nodded, "Maybe. I hope so. I just need some… time. I'm just really overwhelmed right now."

"Of course," Mary smiled, "Whenever you're ready and any questions you have. I will always be here," she placed a tentative hand on her daughters cheek briefly.

Charlotte gave her a small smile before standing up and walking shakily to the kitchen.

* * *

Hanna sat beside her friends, her hands clasped tightly.

"You okay?" Emily murmured from next to her.

Hanna nodded her head into her hands, "Sure. I just got one of my best friends locked up in an institution… again."

"It's not your fault," Spencer said firmly, "She's where she needs to be."

"That place, it's not like Radley," Alison said, "They actually help people. Archer was the only one in that place that was evil… Everyone else, they just wanted to help."

"I hope so," Hanna murmured, "How about you, you okay? I'm not the only one who's been through a lot tonight."

"I'm okay," Alison said quietly, "I still kind of can't believe she's alive. She must be in shock… with Mary. It's so hard at first… she has mom's face. And Charlotte was closer to mom than I ever was."

"She must be traumatised," Aria acknowledged, "And we all know what Charlotte does when she's traumatised."

"She's not like that anymore," Alison quipped back, "She won't go back to that."

"That's what I said about Mona," Hanna pointed out.

"She has a chance at a real family now," Alison said firmly, "It's different now. She's different."

Spencer stood up and left the room silently.

* * *

Charlotte lent her head against a cupboard in the kitchen, trying to regain her breathing. She could feel her heart racing. She finally let some of the tears out, her breath coming out in sobs that made her shoulders shake.

"It's bizarre, isn't it?"

Charlotte wiped her eyes and turned around to see Spencer half-leaning on the wall of the kitchen.  
She nodded, forcing herself to be composed as she breathed in deeply.

"You okay?" Spencer asked.

Charlotte nodded,"I guess we're kind of like family now," she said quietly.

"Depends what you classify as family," Spencer shrugged, "Ali's your family. I'm just some girl who has the same parents as you."

Charlotte bit her lip, "Oh."

Spencer could swear she heard disappointment in the older woman's voice. But that didn't make any sense, she thought, dismissing it.

"You've known her for a few weeks now, right?" Charlotte asked, nibbling her lip, "What do you think?"

"Me?" Spencer frowned, "Why does it matter what I think?"

Charlotte shrugged, "Because… you're her daughter too. And you've had… time with her."

"What are you really trying to ask?" Spencer asked, reading between the lines.

"I don't know," she muttered, "I mean, do you think… if she was given a chance, do you think she'd be… a good mom?"

Spencer hadn't seen that look in her sisters' eyes since the night of the reveal. She couldn't help feeling sympathy for Charlotte.

"She seems really nice," Spencer started, "She seems to really just want some semblance of a family. She just chose a fucked up way of getting there when she worked with Elliott but you know, people make mistakes, I guess."

"I guess," Charlotte echoed, "Spencer, I'm sorry. For the dollhouse, for the… for everything. I never meant it to go so far. I just… I don't… " she sighed, "Did you get my letter?"

"I got it," Spencer confirmed.

"Did you… read it?" Charlotte asked.

Spencer nodded, "I did. I thought I'd just throw it out but…" she shrugged, "I figured I'd dealt with six years of A text's, I could deal with one more."

Charlotte nodded.

"I wasn't ready to see you then," Spencer shrugged.

"And now?" Charlotte asked tentatively.

Spencer half-smirked, "Not like I have much choice. Family bonds and all."

"I'm sorry," Charlotte whispered.

Spencer nodded, "I know."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Mary had gone from having neither of her children to having both. It was overwhelming, to say the very least. She'd never thought she would have a chance… She only wished they weren't both in so much pain. She watched Charlotte sit across from her, guarded but curious.

"I…" Charlotte started, her eyes flicking from the ground to Mary's face, "I'm sorry, I can't do this," she stood up and walked out.

Mary closed her eyes and told herself it would just take time.

* * *

"I can't stay here," Charlotte said adamantly.

Alison looked at her sympathetically, "I know it's hard but it will get easier, right? You said you wanted to get to know her. Has that changed?"

"No, of course not," Charlotte shook her head, "It's just…"

"Mom?" Alison guessed softly.

Charlotte nodded, "Every time I look at her, I see mom. But then she speaks and… " she shrugged, "she's not mom."

"She's not," Alison agreed, "But this is your home, Charlotte. Please, stay. She can always go and stay at the Lost Woods if it will make you more comfortable."

Charlotte sighed, slumping onto her bed, "I don't want to be responsible for sending her away," she muttered, "I know too well what that's like."

"Well, I don't want to send either of you away," Alison smiled, "I just want you to be comfortable. I just want you to be… here."

Charlotte smiled too, "Okay. I'll stay. I'll try."

Alison sat down beside her, "Thank you."

"I don't know how you still love me…" Charlotte looked at Alison's hand covering her own, "after everything… Archer… "

"He betrayed us both," Alison said quietly, "I know how desperately you wanted out of that place. You didn't know what he'd do."

Charlotte nodded.

"But you know," Alison started hesitantly, "Since he was never a doctor… you never really got the help you need. I think it's really important you see someone. A real professional."

Charlotte bit her lip and nodded, "I will," she promised, "But I'm not going back to Welby. I swear, I'll run away before I ever go back to one of those places, Ali – "

"I know, I know," Alison squeezed her sisters' hand, "I just convinced you to stay here, didn't I?" she smiled, "I'm not sending you anywhere. Honestly, I don't even know how I can even let you out of my sight."

"Because you think I might do something bad?" Charlotte looked miserable.

"No!" Alison shook her head vigorously, "Because I-I never should have left you alone in the bell tower. If I had just stayed and bought you home – "

"I sent you away, Ali," Charlotte said quietly, "It's okay. I'm an expert at giving the cold shoulder. Nobody can talk to me when I'm like that. I was so mad at Archer… "

Alison wrapped her arms around her sister, "I'm sorry anyway," she whispered, "I love you."

Charlotte returned the embrace, glad to be back in her Alison's arms, "I love you too, Ali. In that place… all I wanted was to get home to you. To tell you I wasn't really upset at you, it was him that betrayed me. I knew you must be so sad…"

"I was," Alison whispered, tears pricking her eyes, "But you're here now. You're not going anywhere this time."

* * *

Sitting across from Spencer, Mary knew she should be grateful that at least one of her daughters was willing to be in the same room with her. But she couldn't shake the memory of the look in Charlotte's eyes before she'd left. She was barely aware of Spencer's scrutinising stare.

"Are you… okay?" Spencer broke into Mary's thoughts.

"Oh yes, I'm fine," Mary's tight smile did nothing to convince her daughter.

Spencer smiled, "You know when you're thinking about something that's bothering you… you get this little wrinkle right here," she pointed to her a spot just above her own eye.

"You're observant," Mary quipped.

Spencer shrugged, "Not really," she paused, "I get the same one."

Mary's eyes widened, "Really?"

Spencer nodded, a small smile on her face. This time the smile on Mary's face was genuine. Then it faded and the wrinkle came back.

"I see it when she looks at me," Mary said quiet, "She just see's Jessica."

Spencer wasn't surprised it was about Charlotte, "Well, they were close, I guess."

Mary looked miserable, bitter even, "Yes, it seems they were."

Spencer hesitated, "If it helps, I never really liked her much. Jessica, I mean."

Mary looked up at her and returned the small smile her daughter shot her, "It helps. Thank you."

"I always thought she was… off," Spencer went on, "But now… I don't know. The things she put you through just sound..." she sighed, "like a horror movie."

Mary thought she saw pain on her daughters face and wasn't sure if she was glad, because it meant Spencer really cared or upset because it meant Spencer was in pain.

"It was," she replied quietly, "There were a few years in Radley… It all blurs, feels like one, long continuous day of torture," she shivered, "The electroshock therapy was… It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter anymore."

"You can talk about it if you need to," Spencer said.

Mary was flooded with overwhelming gratitude.

"You're a lovely young woman, Spencer," she said quietly, "I wish I could say that I had something to do with the beautiful person you've become."

Spencer bit the corner of her lip, "I had a dream I met you when I was little… but my parents sent you away," she frowned, "Is that… did that happen?"

Mary's expression softened, "No, it didn't," she shook her head, "I visited when you were just a few months old but you wouldn't remember that."

"It was kind of a nice dream," Spencer spoke quietly, "It's strange, you're…"

Mary tilted her head, "What is it?"

Spencer shook her head, trying to find the words, "I don't know. I've read about like, adopted kids who meet their biological parents and they feel this instant connection. It's like, even if they don't remember them, there's this deep kind of memory… It's this Jane Eyre quote I keep remembering…," she spoke barely above a whisper, looking at the ground, "As if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly knotted to a similar string in you. It's like there's a cord between our hearts…" she shook her head and rolled her eyes, "That sounded way creepier out loud. Sorry."

Mary's eyes were cloudy as she took Spencer's hand in her own, "It wasn't. At all. It's beautiful," she couldn't help putting her arms around the younger woman and was relieved when her daughter returned the hug, "Thank you for letting me in."

"Thank you for coming back," Spencer whispered.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Sorry it's been a while guys! But I've got the next couple of chapters pretty much done so should be faster to update :) Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading =]**

 **Chapter 12**

"Maybe I should just go and stay at the lost resort," Mary sighed.

Alison was conflicted, "Just give her a little while. It's hard for her… Her and mom were close. I can't exactly relate but I know they had a special relationship, it must be confronting for her to see…"

"Me," Mary said flatly, "I know. I used to love being a twin… when I was young. Now it seems to be some kind of sick curse."

"Just wait a little while longer. Please," Alison insisted.

Charlotte tiptoed quietly back to her room, closing the door gently.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Emily asked quietly.

Alison shot her a half-hearted smile, "I'm okay," she said, "I just… I don't want to send Mary away but… I get where Charlotte's coming from. It was weird enough for me seeing Mary… I know it's why Jason didn't even want to give her a chance… but Charlotte had this relationship with mom that I don't even understand. It's like she's talking about someone else, not the mom I knew and I just wonder…"

Emily watched the struggle on her girlfriends' face and squeezed her hand, "Wonder what?" she asked gently.

"I wonder… why Charlotte?" Alison frowned, "I mean, why did she love Charlotte so much and she was so distant from me," she sighed, "Then I think it's not fair to think that because I'm not the one she locked away. But if I'd killed someone…or thought I'd killed someone, would she have gone to such lengths to cover it up?"

"Well," Emily said slowly, picking her words carefully, "I don't know exactly what your mom was thinking. She was an enigma," she bit her lip, "But maybe she felt guilty. Mary was in Radley… your dad wasn't exactly keen on having her around but he doted on you. Jason shut them both out pretty early… Maybe she felt sorry for her and guilty for the way her life turned out."

Alison nodded, "Maybe you're right."

"And if you ever kill anyone, I'll help you cover it up," Emily smiled, kissing her girlfriend quickly, "But please, don't test me on that."

Alison chuckled, "Right back at you."

* * *

Spencer was trying to focus on the book she was reading but her focus didn't seem to be what it used to be. She ignored her phone as it went off for the third time since she'd opened her book. It was Aria. She knew it was since she'd ignored her first text. She didn't feel like she was the best company right now. Everything felt… too much.

She sighed, putting her book down and pulling her bag towards her. She dug through it and found the pill bottle at the very bottom of her things. She took it out and stared at it for a while. The doctor had given her painkillers but she hadn't taken a single one. Still, she ached for her head to just stop thinking a while. For everything to just stop a while. She couldn't remember the last time she'd even slept a solid hour. It was times like this she hated having such an active mind. It was too active.

The knock on the door shocked her out of her own mind. She put the pill bottle down and swept a hand through the mess her hair was as she made her way to the door. She opened it and blinked, not knowing what to say.

"Hi," Charlotte said.

She looked nervous, Spencer noted.

"Hey," Spencer managed to say, "What are you doing… here?"

Charlotte looked around, "Are your parents around?"

Spencer looked over her shoulder and back to the older woman warily, "No," she said, "Work. They'll be back soon."

Charlotte nodded.

"So… what are you doing here?" Spencer repeated.

"Oh, right," Charlotte nodded, "How do you… I mean, you seem to get on okay with Mary, right?"

Spencer nodded, "Sure, we have a ways to go but we're getting there."

"But what about your mom?" Charlotte asked, "Veronica, I mean. Don't you feel like you're betraying her?"

It clicked. She was here for advice. It was easy to forget they were family.

Spencer hesitated before opening the door wider and stepping back, "Come in."

Charlotte paused before following her sister in and sitting opposite her.

"It was hard with my parents at first," Spencer shrugged, "Really hard. I was mad and they didn't like me seeing so much. Maybe they still don't. But they respect that I'm an adult and it's my decision," she stopped, "But our situations are pretty different."

Charlotte played with her hands nervously, "Yeah, I guess," she muttered, "You get two moms. I get none."

Spencer bit her tongue for a moment, trying to find the right words, "Well… you have two mom's too. It's just one of them isn't here anymore… but the other is. I know she wants to be part of your life. You have the choice to still have a mom."

"But mom didn't tell me about her for a reason, right? She didn't want me to know her, to be a part of her life… so if I do let Mary in, aren't I betraying my mom?" Charlotte's voice was soft and Spencer didn't think she'd ever seen the other woman with so much conflict on her face.

"I don't know, Charlotte," Spencer said, "But your mom's not here to tell you anymore. The only way you get the story is through Mary. If you want it."

Charlotte's brow furrowed further, "She seems… nice."

Spencer smiled a little, "She's a good person. I think you'd really get a lot from her… If you just forget the whole mom thing for a minute. She's still your family, your aunt, right? There's not a lot of people who have been through… It could be good for you to have someone like that in your life."

"Are you worried I'm going to go all A on you again?" Charlotte asked quietly.

Spencer sighed, "I'd be lying if I said it's not something that crosses my mind from time to mine. You know what you did. You know how much you put us through. It doesn't go away overnight… or maybe not ever. But you're here and we're kind of tied up now whether we like it or not."

"Right," Charlotte supposed, "Well, I'm not. Going back to that, I mean. You don't have to believe me but… I have a new therapist and living with Ali is… it's everything I wanted. Everything I want. It's just this Mary thing… "

"I don't think it's betraying Jessica," Spencer thought aloud, "I think... Jessica cared about you, more than any of her kids, it seems… I guess you just have to believe that she loved you more than she disliked her sister. She'd want you to be happy, even if it was with Mary."

Spencer didn't know if it was true. Jessica was an enigma and kept a lot of secrets. It just seemed the right thing to say.

"Maybe you're right," Charlotte nibbled her lip, "Plus, it's not like I'm just going to start calling her mom."

"I still don't," Spencer shrugged, "She won't push you. Early on, I told her I needed space. She gave it. It's just as big a deal to her as it is to us. She gets that."

Charlotte watched Spencer curiously, "You like her," she observed.

Spencer smiled, "Yeah, I do."

Charlotte stood up, "Thank you. Can I just do one thing I think maybe real sisters do for each other?"

Spencer's eyes narrowed, "It depends… What's that?"

Charlotte walked over to the kitchen bench and scooped up the pill bottle, "Spotted these the moment I walked in. You've gotten clumsy," she smiled, "But I don't think you really want them… right?"

Spencer's eyes met Charlotte's and she saw something she'd never seen there before. Some kind of affection. Protectiveness. Caring.

"Right," Spencer eventually confirmed.

Charlotte smiled as she let herself out, "See you then."

"Wait, Charlotte?" Spencer rushed to the door.

"Hm?"

Spencer hesitated, "You think you'll talk to her?"

Charlotte nodded, "I think I will," she turned around again.

"Charlotte?"

Charlotte turned around again.

"Thanks," Spencer nodded at the pill bottle still in her sisters' hand.

Charlotte shrugged, "Least I could do. Don't thank me, Spencer. I owe you."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Another update! Actually managed to get a bit done this week yay. Love reading your reviews so please, keep them coming! Hope you're enjoying the story and hey, less than 3 weeks til new episodes WOOOOOOOO!**

 **Chapter 13**

Charlotte tossed and turned until she huffed, laying on her back and staring through the darkness. Wide awake. When she'd been imprisoned by Mona, she'd thought of a real, soft bed often. Now she had it and she still couldn't get any decent sleep.

She sat up, running a hand over her long, exhausted face. She turned on her lamp. The first thing she saw was her teddy bear. The next was a framed photo of her mom. Of Jessica. Her stare lingered, conflicted.

* * *

Mary was tossing and turning too, though she was asleep.

 _"For your own good," a voice came from far away._

 _She tried to speak, to scream, to cry but all she could do was think._

 _No. No. No. Not again. Please. Not today._

 _But it was useless. She knew even if she could get the words out of her mouth, they'd never listen. They never had, why would they now?_

 _She felt the cold metal on either side of her head. She heard the familiar click-click as the dial spun, always to the highest setting. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying as she always did to desperately leave her body while the torture took place._

 _She didn't have many happy thoughts to focus on. Instead, she started her usual mantra;_

 _This will end, she told herself as the first of the electric currents ratcheted through her body. I will get out of this place, she tried to ignore the pain in her jaw as her teeth clamped tight against the rubber gag in her mouth. I will see them again, as her eyes begun to roll back as her whole body convulsed and shook. I will see them again._

 _It didn't eliminate the pain but she did believe it kept her somewhat sane._

* * *

Charlotte walked, hands in the pocket of her hoodie, through the cemetery. She didn't even need to think, her feet knew this place better than anywhere else in Rosewood.

 _Jessica Dilaurentis._

 _Mother._

 _1965 – 2014._

"Mother…" Charlotte's finger traced over the letters as her knees hit the ground, "Why didn't you just tell me? Didn't I deserve to know?"

She sighed, sitting cross legged in front of her mom's head stone.

"I miss you," Charlotte said quietly, "I hate these one sided conversation. Especially now," she bit her tongue until it stung, "I don't know what I'm meant to do and you're not here to tell me. I don't know why you would do the things people are saying you would… " she faltered, "She seems okay, mom. I mean, she seems nice."

Charlotte bit her lip and uncrossed her legs, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her chin on them.

"You're not here," Charlotte said through gritted teeth, "And she's… family. She's here. She's… part of me. And I know you don't like that but unless you come back and tell me face to face, I'm… I'm going to have to try and give her a chance," she stood up, digging her hands deep into her pockets, "And maybe I should tell Ali. Everything. I don't know," her teeth dug into her bottom lip, "I still love you, mommy. I always will."

* * *

Alison woke up slowly. She could hear someone moving around the kitchen. As her mind cleared, she began to realise someone wasn't just moving around the kitchen, they were crashing around. She forced herself out of bed and opened her door, the noises becoming louder. She frowned and padded down the hall cautiously.

She sighed as rounded the corner and spotted her aunt, opening and closing every cupboard in frustration. Alison walked into the kitchen slowly.

"Aunt Mary?" she said quietly, "What are you doing?"

"I just need something to sleep," Mary answered, slamming another door in frustration, "Don't you keep anything around here?"

Alison noted the bags under her aunt's sunken eyes, "I – I think I have some Valium somewhere… but are you okay? You look…"

"Terrible?" Mary finished, "I guess I haven't been sleeping and I thought I had some whiskey left but – "

Alison put her hands on Mary's, "It's okay," she said quietly, "I hardly think whiskey is what you need right now. Come and sit with me."

Mary allowed her niece to lead her into the lounge room and sat down beside her.

"I know the last few weeks have been all over the place emotionally. And I know you trap yourself in your head, I see the wheels turning all the time but you need to – "

"Learn to relax," Mary growled, "So I've been told my whole life. I was just never really in a situation where I could relax."

Alison nodded, "I know but you're safe here," she insisted, "I mean, everything's done with now. I mean, nobody's after us. It's okay to relax."

Mary closed her eyes, "It's just… I used to have these awful dreams. Nightmares, really," she opened her eyes as the images began to flash on her eyelids, "Or, well, memories actually. That place… the electroshock… "

"Oh," Alison shifted in her spot, "I can't even imagine…"

"No, you can't," Mary said, though not unkindly, "I had a way of trying to get through it... I would just think one day I'll get away from all this. One day… I'll get to see my children," the tears slid down her cheeks, "And now I do and it's still so hard. I want to be a part of their lives but they're all grown up and they don't need me. Nobody needs me," she wiped her eyes.

Alison hated seeing the older woman cry, "That's not true," she said firmly, taking a deep breath, "I need you."

Mary rolled her eyes, "You're kind but no you – "

"I'm pregnant," Alison blurted.

Mary blinked, "What? You're…" her eyes widened, "Archer?"

Alison nodded, "Biologically… but this my baby. And Emily's."

"How long… a baby… " Mary hugged her niece tightly, "Congratulations. You will be such a good mother, both of you will be."

"You're pregnant?"

Both women looked up to see Charlotte standing in the doorway, a look of disbelief on her face.

Alison nodded.

Charlotte's face broke into a smile and she bounded over, hugging Alison.

"That's amazing!" she said, "I mean, I know the circumstances aren't exactly ideal but a little mini-Alison! Is it a girl?"

Alison laughed, returning the embrace, "We don't know yet."

"Wow," Charlotte stared at Alison, "Wow."

Alison smiled, "I guess we were due some good news, right?"

"Definitely," Mary agreed.

Charlotte offered a small smile to the older woman, "Definitely," she echoed.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: New chapter - I actually really love writing these two. Hope we get some good scenes with them. Enjoy :)**

 **Chapter 14**

"I was surprised to get your call," Mary broke the awkward silence first as the two sat in a corner in the brew.

Peter looked up from his cup of coffee, "I'm sorry it took me so long to call. After the hospital… and Veronica… "

"I understand," Mary said quietly, "She's your priority."

Peter nodded slowly, "Her and Spencer," he agreed, "She seems to be enjoying getting to know you."

Mary stared at her coffee, her fingers dug into the material covering her knees.

"You're nervous," Peter noted.

Mary shrugged minimally, "It's been a long time, Peter," she sighed, "And I've just… told the whole story so many times recently."

"Well, you don't have to – "

"I just… I wasn't crazy," Mary said quietly, "Yes, maybe I had some issues but it was Jessica; she just wanted to keep me from… she was so mad that we, you and I… she hated me. Like real, true hate."

Peter couldn't help sympathising with the woman, "I'm sorry I didn't dig deeper."

"You had your family to think of," Mary sounded resigned, "I just wish you could've picked the right sister long ago."

Peter blinked in surprise, "Mary… Veronica and I, we worked through our issues. We're very happy and – "

Mary rolled her eyes, "I don't expect you to up and leave her, Peter. I'm only interested in my relationships with my daughters."

Peter nodded, smiling, "As hard as it's been, I am glad you're getting to know Spencer. I think it's been good for her, to realise things…"

"Like where all her problems come from?" Mary sighed.

Peter frowned, "No. I mean, yes I'm sure that's helped too, having a genetic history… but I just mean… Veronica and I, even Melissa, we were never very good at talking about her issues. We never really knew how to handle it. We'd never really been close to anyone who had mental health issues..."

"Except me," Mary filled in.

"Yes, except you," Peter confirmed quietly, "I think it's good for her to have someone who's struggled with similar issues… "

"She mentioned she had a pill problem," Mary remembered, "But she seems… well now. I mean, considering recent events."

Peter nodded, "She is, I think. She's very good at hiding her feelings. I think she gets tempted when she's in stressful situations."

Mary smiled, "You're not as ignorant as you might think."

Peter returned the smile before thinking aloud, "So, Jason struggles with addiction too… I wonder did Jessica… do you?"

Mary sighed, "I do," she confirmed, "Alcohol mostly. It became a crutch… my only company. It was easier to just drink myself into a stupor than to feel what I was feeling. If I hadn't still been in the throes of addiction, maybe it would have been me who killed Jessica," there was a bitterness to her voice, "You haven't asked. If it was me, I mean."

Peter's eyes crinkled around the edges, "You're not capable of that. Not murder."

Mary saw the kindness in his eyes that had first drawn her to him years ago, "Thank you."

Peter smiled and gave a nod, "If there is anything I can do… I just mean, don't be afraid to ask for help, Mary."

Mary chuckled, "And Veronica?"

Peter shook his head, "Leave that to me. I feel… I just wish I had known sooner."

"It's not your fault," Mary attempted a smile, "People knew what Jessica wanted them to know. That was just how it always worked."

"Amazing, isn't it?" Peter sighed, "How much power one person can have over so many lives."

Mary nodded, "It is," she whispered.

"You didn't ask me either," Peter pointed out, "If I killed Jessica. There were theories," he shrugged, "So many secrets between our families."

"You're not capable of murder," Mary smiled, "I know that."

Peter returned the smile, "I do care about you, Mary. I want you to know that. To believe that."

"I must admit I stopped believing that you, or anyone else gave a crap about me," Mary said quietly, hesitating, "I used to dream that you would walk in one day and save me from that hell."

Peter flinched but leant forward, taking Mary's hand, "I can't blame you for losing faith. But I will prove it to you again," he stood up, "But for now, I better get into the office."

Mary stood, "Of course. And thank you."

Peter nodded and hesitated before drawing the woman in for a brief hug. It was quick but long enough for Mary to recognise the smell, the feel of those arms around her. Then it was over.

"You know another thing Spencer got from you?" Peter turned back to Mary.

Mary shook her head.

"Her strength," Peter smiled, "I don't envy what you've been through but that resilience… is really something else."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Charlotte stood in the hallway, looking at the wooden door before her. Then she watched her hand curl into a fist and moved it towards the door. It dropped before she could make herself knock. She shook out her hand, flexing her fingers as though trying to get it ready for a fist fight rather than a seemingly simple rap on the door. But there was nothing simple about this.

She took a deep breath and forced her knuckles to make contact with the wood softly before she could pull away again.

She closed her eyes. Maybe she wasn't in there. Maybe she'd worked herself into a panic for nothing. At least she could say she'd tried, it wasn't her fault –

"Charlotte," Mary breathed, surprised to see her eldest daughter before her.

Charlotte's eyes were wide and she swallowed tightly.

"Are you okay?" Mary asked.

Charlotte nodded, regaining her composure, "Sure, I'm okay. I just… " she trailed off, cursing herself internally. She was usually more articulate. More in control.

"I don't always know what to say either," Mary said quietly, "Do you want to come in?"

Charlotte looked around the hall before looking back to her biological mother and nodding, "Sure."

Mary stepped aside and closed the door after her daughter. Charlotte stood in the middle of the room, arms crossed, awkwardly.

"Sorry about the mess," Mary muttered.

Charlotte looked around the impeccably clean room, "You're a perfectionist."

Mary looked up from the pillow on the bed she was straightening, "So I've been told," she smiled, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Charlotte offered a smile more like a grimace, "So was mom," she flinched at her own words, "Sorry."

Mary shook her head, "You don't need to be sorry," she smiled, "You can mention Jessica."

Charlotte nodded and sat down on the bed beside Mary, playing with her fingers nervously, "I can't call you mom. I mean, not now. I don't know, maybe not ever. I'm sorry if that's harsh but – "

"It's not," Mary had heard a similar speech from Spencer, she'd expected it then and she expected it now, "I don't expect a life time to be made up for so quickly… I know the whole situation is bizarre and confusing."

"It's just sometimes I would dream about mom coming back," Charlotte nibbled on her lip, "And you…" she looked into Mary's eyes.

"Look just like her," Mary finished.

Charlotte nodded, "I'm really glad your hair is dark," she smiled, "Makes it a little easier, at least."

Mary smiled, running a hand through her hair, "Twins… always wanting to differentiate themselves somehow. Of course, your mom refused to change so it was up to me."

Charlotte bit her lip, "So… do you… have good memories of her too? Or is it all just… bad?"

Mary could tell the blonde was struggling but she was thankful that she was even trying, so she knew she had to try to, "Well… I suppose it's easy for the bad memories to overtake the good. Sometimes the negativity swallows up everything around it. But when Jessica and I were younger, we had some nice times. She was competitive as hell and I guess I was too, but I was a little more… passive. Softly spoken. When we were young, she would step in for me with the other kids at school. They thought I was… odd. I was, I suppose."

"Odd how?" Charlotte tilted her head.

Mary sighed, rolling her eyes, "Like you said, I'm a perfectionist. I'd line up my pencils in the same order, in the same spot on my desk every day and I'd panic…if one of them fell off the table or if someone decided to borrow one without asking. I counted a lot, mostly when I was nervous. I didn't like people borrowing my things so of course, the other kids loved to take my things. Just to see me react. I had strange habits like that the other kids liked to pick on."

Charlotte smiled, "I do things like that too," she admitted, "Mom used to tell me it was okay, just as long as – "

"You kept it from sight. The weakness wasn't there – "

"If they couldn't see it," Charlotte finished, frowning slightly, "Wow."

"Yeah," Mary blinked, "Wow."

Charlotte stared into space, blinking rapidly.

"Charlotte, are you okay?"

Charlotte looked into the concerned eyes of her mother, "Yeah," she nodded but stopped, "No. I just think… Is this all just karma? For all the terrible things I've done?" she whispered, "But then that doesn't make sense because it started so long ago and you seem like, you are a good person so why would you be being punished unless it was all just to set up this long line of hurting me and now I just sound like the most self-absorbed person alive."

Mary fought back tears and resisted the urge to touch her eldest daughter, afraid that any show of affection could scare her away, "You're not self-absorbed. You just overthink things. Family trait."

Charlotte nodded, staring at her hands, "So… even if I didn't know you were my… mother," it seemed an easier word to say than 'mom', "I'd think you were like my aunt, right?"

"Right," Mary supposed, "But Charlotte, right now, I know this is difficult for you… I can't imagine… And I don't want to push you into something that you don't want or you're not interested in."

Charlotte's legs swung backwards and forwards over the side of the bed; a nervous habit from when she was a child, "I am interested," she said quietly, "It's not going to be easy… but I am interested," she hesitated before reaching her hand towards Mary's.

Mary saw the movement stop and took it upon herself to reach her own hand over Charlotte's. She felt Charlotte's fingers squeeze ever so gently around hers.

"How about we start at the beginning? Do you think we could try to just be friends?" Mary whispered.

Charlotte offered a smile and nodded. Then she moved quickly and Mary was caught off guard by the tightness of the embrace. Charlotte buried her head in her mother's shoulder, her fingers laced tightly around her. Mary closed her eyes, the tears she had held in now cascading down her cheeks as she savoured the long-awaited embrace.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Spencer finished the last of her coffee and put her cup in the sink. She grabbed her bag from the bench before remembering something. She bent down to a small cupboard and started rifling through it.

"Morning."

She looked up at her adopted mom and stood, "Morning."

Veronica looked at her daughter curiously, "What's that you've got?"

Spencer looked at the photo album in her hands, "Uh… Mary wanted to see some photos," she muttered, "You know, baby photos."

Veronica pursed her lips, "You're off to see her now?" she tried to keep her voice light.

"Yeah," Spencer nodded.

"You've been spending a lot of time with her," Veronica hesitated, "I take it things are going well?"

Spencer shrugged, "Sure. Well," she paused, "Dad's home tonight?" she attempted to change the subject.

"Oh, yes, his flight gets in this afternoon," Veronica confirmed, "You'll be in for dinner?"

"Should be," Spencer smiled.

* * *

Mary ran her fingers gingerly over a photo of baby Spencer.

"You were so adorable," she whispered.

Spencer smiled, "I guess."

Mary glanced up at her, tears shining in her eyes. She wiped her eyes hurriedly and continued flicking pages. She studied a photo of Spencer as a little girl with the rest of her family. She swallowed tightly and turned the page.

"First day of school," Spencer pointed out a photo.

Mary smiled, "You were so sophisticated for a five year old," she chuckled at little Spencer's outfit.

Spencer laughed, "That's one word for it."

"I missed so much," Mary murmured.

Spencer took her mom's hand, "So did I," she whispered.

Mary stared at their hands a moment before squeezing Spencer's hand tightly, "I love you so very much, Spencer."

Spencer nodded, "I know. I love you too."

It was the first time she'd said it but it felt natural. She was surprised at how quickly her feelings had developed for her mom. The relationship had been hard at first, awkward and exhausting but it had come a long way.

Mary couldn't help it; she pulled Spencer into her arms. Spencer didn't mind, she hugged her mom tightly. She rested her head on the older woman's shoulder, her eyes letting a few stray tears fall. When she pulled back, she tried to wipe her eyes discreetly.

"Oh, honey, are you okay?" Mary asked, "I didn't mean to make you cry."

Spencer sniffed, shrugging, "It's okay. It's kind of tradition, right? At least one of us always has to cry."

Mary laughed quietly, "True. Well, why don't we change that? Why don't we do something fun for once?"

Spencer smiled, "I'd like that."

"Hm, what should we do then?" Mary asked.

"Do you like movies?" Spencer asked.

Mary smiled, "I like movies. Oh!"

"What is it?" Spencer asked as her mom's eyes lit up.

Mary bit her lip, "It's a bit silly," she said, "It's just when I was away, I always thought of what I wanted to show you…if we ever met. It's this movie I saw in Radley. Most of them were terrible but I was having a hard time feeling anything… the meds, they made me numb… and the story, it made me feel when I couldn't. So, I always wanted to show it to you but… it's silly," she sighed, "It's Disney."

Spencer chuckled, "Disney is okay sometimes. What movie is it?" she asked curiously.

"The fox and the hound," Mary said, "Have you seen it?"

Spencer frowned, "I don't think I ever have. Melissa was more into the Disney princess thing."

"Does Rosewood even have a video store?" Mary's eyes shone with excitement.

Spencer laughed, "I don't know if anywhere still has a video store," she grinned, "But we do have wifi."

"Of course!" Mary exclaimed, "Really? You'll watch it with me?"

Spencer smiled, "I'd love to, mom."

Mary blinked, staring at her daughter. Spencer had pulled her laptop out and was tapping away on the keyboard. She felt Mary's stare on her and looked up.

"Whoa, hey, I thought we said no more tears," Spencer placed the laptop on the coffee table, "What is it?"

"You called me mom," Mary barely whispered.

Spencer recalled her words; she hadn't even realised what she was saying, "Yeah, I did," she confirmed.

Mary wiped away the last of her tears and picked up the laptop, "Okay, show me. How do I download a movie?"

* * *

"You're staring again," Alison rolled her eyes at her sister.

Charlotte grinned, "I can't help it. You're growing a little baby in there."

Alison put her hand on her stomach, "I'm scared," she admitted.

Charlotte scooted her chair closer to Alison's, "You'll be a great mom," she said earnestly, "And you have Emily and all the girls. You have Mary," she nibbled her lip, "And me. I mean, if you want… if you'll let… I understand if you don't want your baby around me – "

"Oh, stop it," Alison shook her head, "Of course I want you in his or hers life. I'm relying on you for babysitting duties."

Charlotte grinned wider than ever, "Really? You mean it?" she didn't even notice how loud her voice was until she saw Alison looking around as a few people looked at them curiously, "Oops."

Alison chuckled, "Of course," she took Charlotte's hand, "You're still my sister, Charlie. And we're not going to turn out like mom and Mary."

Charlotte squeezed Alison's hand, "Never," she promised, "I'll always be here for you and mini-Alison."

Alison laughed, "We don't even know if it's a girl yet!"

"I know," Charlotte shrugged, "I have a feeling."

Alison smiled, "Well, boy or girl, it's going to have a lot of love around."

"Definitely," Charlotte agreed, "I can babysit and buy her toys and help her build things and teach her lots and buy her cute clothes and hug her really tightly so she knows she's never alone."

Alison's heart melted at her sisters' excitement, "She'll love you. Just don't teach her anything weird like hacking or surveillance equipment, okay?"

Charlotte nibbled on her lip before she realised Alison was just joking. She rolled her eyes, "No way. I'll teach her to be honest and that she can tell us anything and nobody will be mad at her or send her away."

"Break the cycle of lies," Alison said quietly, "Honesty."

* * *

"I thought this was meant to stop us crying," Spencer joked as she wiped her eyes.

The credits ran on the screen.

Mary smiled at her, despite the tear streaks on her cheeks, "I told you it was the only thing that made me feel in Radley. It's so tragic."

Spencer pulled her knees to her chest. Mary placed a hand on her daughters knee and squeezed gently. Spencer smiled.

"Did your dad mention I spoke to him the other day?" Mary asked suddenly.

Spencer frowned, "No, he didn't. But I haven't seen him much, he flew out Tuesday. He's getting back tonight. But… honesty's never been our first language," she hesitated, "Was everything… okay?"

Mary nodded, "Yes. Oh, yes it was all very civil," she assured her daughter, "He is a good man, Spencer. He feels quite a bit of guilt, I think, about everything… even though he didn't know the extent of things at the time."

"I wish he'd known, that someone had known," Spencer muttered.

Mary smiled sadly, "So do I," she admitted, "But we're here now."

Spencer nodded, "Yeah. Hey, do you think you have a room at the Lost Woods I could stay in for a while?"

Mary looked surprised, "Well, of course," she said, "But may I ask why?"

Spencer shrugged, "I'm just feeling a little cramped at home. I guess I got used to having my own space in Washington and now mom and dad are home, the house can feel a little crowded."

Mary nodded, "I understand. Have you spoken to your parents about it?"

"Not yet," Spencer answered, "I'm an adult, I can – "

"I just don't want them to think it's my fault," Mary said so quickly her words blended together.

Spencer blinked, "I'll make sure they don't think that," she said firmly, "It's not. It's just I'm not a teenager anymore, I love my mom but I don't need her tracking my every step. It's about independence."

"Of course," Mary said quietly, "Well, whenever you're ready. We're not exactly booked out."

Spencer smiled, "Thanks, mom."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"Okay, sure. I can understand that," Veronica said over breakfast with her husband and daughter, "You'll stay nearby? Do you need help finding a place, I think – "

Spencer knew this was going to be the hard part, "It's okay. I've already got somewhere sorted. Temporarily, anyway."

"Oh, great, where's that?" Peter asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

Spencer bit her lip for a moment before replying, "A room at the Lost Woods."

The air in the Hastings kitchen seemed to thicken instantly.

"Is that what this is about, being closer to Mary?" Veronica asked tersely.

Spencer sighed, "Mom, no. She's still living next door… I'll be further from her than I am now. I just… need some breathing space."

"We could get you somewhere nicer," Veronica said with a sigh, already knowing her daughters answer.

"It's fine," Spencer shrugged.

Veronica drained the last of her tea, "I need to go," she stood up and offered a somewhat forced smile and headed out.

Spencer raised her eyes to look at her dad, "So…?"

Peter smiled a little, "You're not a teenager anymore, I get it. You were living your own life before the before everything…"

"Mary said you saw her the other day," Spencer said lightly, "You didn't mention it."

Peter nodded, "It's all so complicated. I don't know what I'm meant to tell anymore."

Spencer was surprised at her father's honesty, "Isn't that how this whole thing blew up? Secrets… lies."

"Yes, it is," Peter agreed, "I wanted to see how she was, that she's…stable."

Spencer quirked an eyebrow, "And?"

"She seems to be doing well…considering," Peter said, "I just know what she can be like… "

"How's that?"

Peter sighed, "She's emotional… stress… she can become overwhelmed… "

Spencer half-smiled, "Sounds familiar."

"I need to head off to," Peter stood up and reached a hand towards his daughter, "Just… keep an eye on her. Keep an eye on yourself."

Spencer was surprised to hear the emotion in his usually measured voice, "You care about her."

"I care about you both," Peter said, squeezing his daughters' hand, "I know I haven't said it enough but I do love you, Spencer."

Spencer stood up and rest her head against her father's chest, "I know but it's really nice to hear it sometimes."

* * *

"Can I show you something?" Mary asked nervously.

Charlotte's brow furrowed in curiosity, "Sure."

Mary hesitated before pulling her shirt up to expose the scar on her stomach.

Charlotte's eyes widened, "What… Is that where…"

Mary smiled a little, "It's where you came into the world."

Charlotte nibbled on her lip, "Wow. Why did they have to…"

Mary lowered her top as she sighed, "They were impatient. They just wanted it over and for me to be back in my room. A baby was too much fuss for Radley. As if I hadn't been enough trouble to them already… I wanted to have you naturally," she smiled sadly, "the risks in a c-section were much higher back then but my voice was drowned out by the doctors."

Charlotte hated to hear the sadness in her mother's voice but she had one question to ask, "Um. Did you get to hold me? Even for a second?"

Mary's eyes welled up with tears, "I wish I had. But they took you out and away. Not long after… I saw Jessica leave with you… without a single word."

"That's awful," Charlotte whispered, "I'm so s- "

"Don't apologise," Mary cut in, holding Charlotte's hand, "You and your sister are the only good things to come out of that place," she raised a hand to Charlotte's cheek, "Ugly scars are worth it for my two beautiful girls."

Charlotte felt her eyes sting as she turned her cheek into the touch before wiping her eyes.

Mary wiped away Charlotte's tears. Charlotte leaned into her mothers chest, allowing the older woman to comfort her.

"All I ever wanted was a family," she sniffed, "And I thought mom was giving that to me. But she took away so much. I thought it was for the best, I kept making excuses for her and forgiving her. But right from the start, she was taking away any chance I had at a family," Charlotte was sobbing now, "I'm mad at her but I want to hate her but I just…"

Mary watched the conflict on her daughters' face, "You love her," she said quietly, "It's okay. You don't need to hate her."

Charlotte wiped her eyes roughly, "I thought she loved me too…"

Mary bit her tongue before replying, "Charlotte, there are things we do out of hate that can turn into things of love. I'm sure somewhere… I mean, she visited you in Radley, Charlotte. The only time she ever visited me was when the doctors' called her. She could have forgotten about you… left you there… She must have loved you," she finished, clenching her teeth together so hard her jaw hurt.

"That was hard for you," Charlotte observed, "Thank you."

Mary nodded, "I know you have good memories… Not everybody has those. I don't want them to turn rotten…"

"I don't know. Now I know what Ali meant what she said everything looks different now after I told her everything… but at least I'm here and Alison and I have been able to rebuild. With mom…" Charlotte shrugged, "I have to figure it out alone."

Mary took her hand, "You're not alone, honey," she promised, "You have Alison. And you have me. As much or as little as you'd like. All you have to do is ask and I'll be there."

"Thanks, Mary," Charlotte smiled, "Sometimes I wish I didn't know everything… but I am glad for the chance to know you."

"You are?" Mary asked, a smile creeping onto her face.

Charlotte nodded, "I'm not saying it's easy but… I've been looking for you for years. I didn't know it was going to be so complicated but I'm still glad I know who you are."

"Charlotte," Mary hesitated, "May I give you a hug?"

Charlotte looked surprised but laughed lightly and leant forward, wrapping her arms around her mom, "Yes," she whispered.

* * *

Spencer parked her car outside the Lost Woods and walked up to the main office. She couldn't see Mary's car. She looked into the office, not finding Mary there either. She looked at her phone; she was early so she took a seat in the office, looking around curiously.

It wasn't long before she heard a car approach and walked outside to see her mom pull up.

"I'm so sorry I'm late," Mary apologised as she got out of the car, "I was caught up at home."

Spencer smiled, "It's fine, I was early anyway. Everything okay?"

"Oh, yes," Mary nodded, "I was just talking with Charlotte and things got a little intense… You know how it is."

"I do," Spencer agreed.

"I suppose I should give you your key," Mary led them into the office, "It's so quiet here, you're sure this is where you want to stay?"

Spencer smiled, "I think the quiet will be good for me. It's only for a little while, I'll find something more permanent at some point."

Mary picked a key off its hook and handed it to Spencer, "You stay as long as you like."

"Thanks, mom," Spencer followed Mary outside.

"Your parents were okay with you moving out?" Mary asked a little nervously.

Spencer shrugged, "They get it."

"Good," Mary smiled, "Can I help with your things?"

"Oh, sure," Spencer agreed, "It's only a few boxes for now."

"Light packer," Mary chuckled, "I've given you the room right next to the office. We're not exactly getting much traffic at the moment. The place is… well, let's not sugar coat. It's a dump."

Spencer grinned, "It's not so bad. I mean, it could do with a paint job."

Mary laughed, "You're being far too kind."

"Well, if you need some help, I'd be happy to give you a hand," Spencer offered.

Mary smiled, "I'd like that… if you have time."

"I've got nothing but time," Spencer shrugged, "It'd actually be really good to have something to focus on."

Mary chuckled, "My thoughts exactly."


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: This chapter is really just fluff because I felt like doing something cute! R &R appreciated :D **

**Chapter 18**

Spencer was laying on her bed, reading a book when there was a quiet knock on the door. She closed her book and walked the short distance to the door.

"Hi, Spencer."

Spencer was surprised to see her sister before her, "Charlotte, hello."

Charlotte tilted her head, "Bit of a downgrade, isn't it?" she gestured to the room, "From casa Hastings?"

"It's not so bad," Spencer shrugged.

Charlotte nodded.

Spencer looked at her expectantly, "Why are you here? Are you looking for Mary because she's not here – "

"No, I was looking for you," Charlotte cut in before biting her lip.

Spencer waited, noting the way that Charlotte always seemed to look like a puppy with her tail between its legs lately.

"It's Mother's day on Sunday," Charlotte finally said.

Spencer nodded, "I know it is."

Charlotte sighed heavily, "It's just… I had a thought. But I know we're not family, not really and I know we're not friends so you can totally say no or screw you or – "

"Charlotte, what is it?"

"I thought maybe we could cook Mary lunch… like, together," Charlotte finished quietly.

The two looked at each silently for a few moments.

"I can't do lunch," Spencer said.

Charlotte nodded, "Okay, it's fine, I get it. We can just do something separately – "

Spencer sighed, "How about breakfast?"

Charlotte blinked, "Really?"

"Sure, for Mary," Spencer confirmed, "She deserves it."

Charlotte allowed herself a smile, "Great. That's great. Thank you, Spencer."

Spencer nodded, "You're right. We're not family or friends… why don't we just start with being civil?"

"That sounds fair," Charlotte nodded, "Thank you."

* * *

"This is really nice," Alison said as she let Spencer in, "She'll be thrilled. Really."

Spencer smiled, "She's still in bed, right? Charlotte says she gets up early," she yawned, looking at the early time on the clock face.

"Haven't seen Mary yet," Alison said, "I think Charlotte's in the kitchen already."

Spencer nodded, "You're not helping?" she asked off-hand.

Alison smiled, "Nah, it's your thing."

Spencer sighed, looking towards the kitchen.

Alison noticed the hesitation in her friend, "Hey, you'll be fine. Charlotte knows where she stands. You're here for Mary, she knows that."

Spencer smiled gratefully, "Yeah. You're right. I better get to it before mom wakes up."

Alison looked surprised, "You're calling her mom now?"

"Oh, yeah, I guess," Spencer shrugged before heading to the kitchen.

Charlotte already had the frypan on and was busy cooking up breakfast.

"Morning."

Charlotte turned around, "Good morning," she smiled a little, "Um, there's some coffee on if you want it."

"Do I ever!" Spencer headed straight to the coffee pot, pouring herself a cup and taking a sip in relief, "Thanks."

Charlotte chuckled, "Sure."

Spencer drained the last of her coffee, "Okay, how can I help?"

Mary woke up with a start like she did most mornings. She had that familiar feeling of having had an unpleasant dream but unable to recall exactly what it was. She rubbed her eyes and turned onto her side, glancing at the clock. 6am. Like clockwork, she thought. There was a quiet knock on the door and she sat up a little.

"Yes?" she could hear the sleep in her voice.

The door opened and Charlotte walked in with a tray of food, closely followed by Spencer who carried some coffee and juice.

"What's all this?" Mary asked in surprise as Charlotte lay the tray down in front of her.

"Happy mothers day," Charlotte smiled, giving her mom a hug.

"Oh, thank you," Mary hugged her back.

Spencer hugged her next, "Happy mother's day."

"Thank you so much," she hugged Spencer tightly, before letting her go and looking at the food before her, "This is… perfect. Both of you… here together."

Charlotte sat on the bed cross legged, "We wanted to give you a proper mothers' day. You deserve it."

Mary took her daughters' hand and squeezed it quickly. She took a sip of orange juice.

"It's wonderful," she said with a watery smile, "Come, sit," she looked at Spencer, patting the bed beside her.

Spencer sat on the other side of her mom, "I think we're both just really glad, despite the circumstance, that we've gotten the chance to know you."

Mary smiled, wiping a tear from her eye, "You have spoilt me."

"You're worth it," Spencer grinned, "Now, eat!"

Mary laughed and dug into her pancakes happily. Charlotte watched her with a grin on her face.

Spencer pulled out a small gift and handed it to Mary with a smile.

"Oh! Thank you, you didn't need to, the breakfast is enough," Mary exclaimed as she unwrapped the present to reveal a photograph frame with two spaces for photo's; one held a photo of baby Spencer and the other was blank.

"I thought we could take a new photo for the other one," Spencer suggested.

Mary put the breakfast tray on the bedside table and pulled Spencer close, "Thank you, sweetheart," she whispered, "I love you so much."

"Love you too," Spencer replied.

"Well, you kind of took the wind out of my sails," Charlotte grumbled as she handed over her own gift to Mary.

Mary opened it and chuckled, "Did you two plan this?" she asked as she looked down at a very similar photograph frame filled with a photo of baby Charles and a blank space.

Spencer blinked in confusion and looked at Charlotte, "No, we didn't."

"Great minds," Charlotte grinned sheepishly.

Mary laughed and hugged her eldest daughter, "Thank you," she said, "Really, this has been the best morning. Both of you, you're so sweet. I'm so lucky."

"So are we," Spencer said earnestly.

Charlotte jumped off the bed, "I'm going to get the camera!" she bounded out of the room.

Mary chuckled at her daughters' excitement before turning to Spencer, "Thank you so much."

"Of course," Spencer smiled.

"Really," Mary insisted, "I know your relationship with your sis- with Charlotte is, well, more than complicated and I know it can't have been easy for you… spending time with her. So I really do appreciate it, Spencer."

Spencer grimaced, "It's… tough," she admitted, "At one stage, I thought I'd never have to see her again but things… changed. She's family now and I guess I'm still having trouble processing that."

"Completely understandable," Mary said, "Take all the time you need."

Spencer smiled gratefully as Charlotte returned to the room, camera in hand.

"Here," she handed the camera to Spencer, "You take one of me and Mary, then I'll take one of you guys."

They snapped a bunch of photos and picked at the breakfast tray until the food was all gone.

"Thank you so much, my sweet girls," Mary pulled them each to her sides, "I love you both very much."


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Spencer pulled up another rotten plank of wood, throwing it over the side of the veranda. She looked up as she heard Mary's car roll up. She stood up, pulling her gloves off, dusting her hands and wiped her brow.

"Hey," she pulled open Mary's door.

"Thank you," Mary got out of the car, "I thought you were waiting for me. Looks like you've already started?" she noticed the pile of rotten wood.

Spencer shrugged, "I was bored, hope you don't mind. Some of that wood is completely rotted so I reckon we should just toss the lot. I think I can build up a new one if we head over to the hardware store."

"It shouldn't surprise me that you're a self-starter," Mary smiled, "But are you sure you can do that? I could get a professional…"

"I reckon I can figure it out," Spencer said confidently.

Mary chuckled, "I didn't realise you were so handy."

"Toby taught me a few things," Spencer said quietly.

Mary saw the pain on her daughters face, "I'm sorry," she placed a hand on Spencer's arm, "You don't talk of him very often… if you ever want to… "

Spencer nodded, "I know. Thank you."

Mary bit her lip, wondering if she should push her daughter to speak.

"He was a really good guy… the best," Spencer said, "I don't really know what else to say."

"I wish I'd known him," Mary said, "He was obviously so very important to you."

Spencer was reminded of just how little Mary knew of her past, "We were together through high school. He was forever trying to protect me… not just from A. From myself. I don't think anyone's ever loved me as fiercely as he did."

Mary sat down on the steps, pulling Spencer down beside her.

"What happened?" she dared to ask softly.

Spencer stared at her own hands, "We grew up. Wanted different things. He was ready to settle, to have a family. I wasn't anywhere near ready… We went our separate ways."

"You still cared for him very much," it wasn't a question.

Spencer nodded, "Very much," she whispered.

Mary took the younger woman's hand tentatively. Spencer squeezed and moved closer, resting her head on her mother's shoulder.

"There's so much more," Spencer murmured, "It just hurts to talk about."

Mary put her arm around her daughter, "It's okay, honey. You tell me when you're ready," she said gently, "I'll always listen."

Spencer wiped her eyes and allowed Mary to pull her into her arms.

* * *

Charlotte had been pacing in her room for over an hour. Her lips moved soundlessly. She could hear Alison moving around in the kitchen. Eventually, she took a deep breath and opened her bedroom door.

"Morning," Alison smiled as her sister entered the kitchen.

Charlotte nodded, "Morning," she began twisting her fingers together, "I have to tell you something."

Alison put down her coffee and noted the anxiety surrounding the other woman, "Okay," she said slowly.

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want to taint your memories any more than they already have been," Charlotte forced herself to keep speaking, "But we're doing this whole honesty thing now, right? I really want this to work."

Alison couldn't help thinking Charlotte's words sounded somewhat rehearsed; she wondered how many times she'd been over it.

"You found her lair," Charlotte continued, "You know she knew you were alive. But you never asked if…" she stopped talking, her throat closing up.

Alison frowned, "If she knew what you were doing to the girls," she said quietly, "I never asked because I was scared of the answer," she looked at her sisters' face, "But I guess you just told me."

Charlotte nodded.

Alison sighed, "Nothing she did should surprise me anymore… But she really knew everything you were doing? And she didn't… care? Didn't she ever try to stop you?"

Charlotte's rehearsed speech flew out of her mind, "It was… I mean, at first, it was…" she tried to force the words out through the pain in her throat, "It was her idea."

Alison blinked, stunned into silence.

"I told her about Mona and all the bizarre things that had happened to the girls… And there had been a sighting of… you. So, mom said, if you really were alive, maybe you'd come for your friends if they started getting harassed again. It was just going to be a few texts, nothing serious but it wasn't enough so… we had to up the game."

Alison shook her head, "So she made you – "

"It wasn't like that," Charlotte shook her head, "She didn't force me. I wanted to. It seemed harmless… but it got out of control. I really did get addicted to the game. Mom said we should stop," Charlotte closed her eyes, "We had a fight about it… then she… "

"Was gone," Alison finished quietly, "That was the last conversation you had with her? She wanted to stop?"

Charlotte nodded, "Yeah. I guess I was taking over, after the Lodge fire. Mom said we knew you were alive and we needed to focus on that and I wanted to. I really wanted to find you. It's just the game was in my head and I wanted both it and you."

"She was looking for me?" Alison asked hesitantly.

"Of course," Charlotte answered, "We both were. She would have found you if… I know it. She felt like she failed you, Ali. She felt so horrible for…"

"Burying me alive?"

Charlotte nodded, "Yeah, that. We wanted to bring you home, tell you everything. She was really cut up about it. It's so hard to understand how she could be so cruel to Mary. I feel like there's this separation of who you knew and who I knew."

"I know what you mean," Alison said quietly, "You clearly knew a totally different side to her. I wish I'd seen that side… but I didn't."

"Mary definitely didn't," Charlotte said sadly, "I just don't get it. She's really nice and she didn't deserve to have so much pain in her life."

"You seem to be getting on well with her these days," Alison smiled.

Charlotte returned the smile, "Yeah. She's really cool," she bit her lip, "And I think she really cares about me. She doesn't want anything from me, she just likes to spend time with me. It's nice."


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: New chapter. Radley flashbacks. Spencer/Mary bonding. Let me know your thoughts and what/who else you're interested in seeing in upcoming chapters!**

 **Chapter 20**

 _"Please don't leave me here."_

 _Mary was sobbing and shaking in fear._

 _"It wasn't me, it was – "_

 _"You're not a child anymore," her father said sharply, "You two can't just blame everything on one another and expect us to believe you. This is beyond any of the trouble you've caused before. A baby is dead."_

 _Mary cried harder._

 _"We're doing this for your own good," her father shook his head, "You do what the doctors say and you'll get better. Then you can come home."_

 _Mary watched him walk away and turned to her mom, wide eyed._

 _"Please, mom, I swear I didn't hurt that baby. I would never hurt anyone, I – "_

 _Her mom blinked out a tear, "Mary, I know you're a good person but there's this side of you that likes to do bad things."_

 _Mary shook her head, "No, mom," she pleaded, "I know I've done some bad stuff but joy rides and drinking too much is one thing. I'd never hurt a little baby."_

 _Her mom put a hand on her face, "You've been getting worse, honey. You need help and we don't know how else to give it to you. We know you cancelled your sessions with the school counsellor. Your fathers right, just do what the doctors' say and you can come home."_

 _Mary wiped her still flowing tears, "I'm scared," she whispered._

 _"I know," her mom cleared her throat, "You'll be okay. I'll visit, okay?"_

 _Mary sniffed and wrapped her arms around her mom, "I'm sorry," she cried, not even knowing what she was apologising for and not knowing her mom would take it as an admission of guilt. Just knowing that maybe her rebellious behaviour had gotten her here. Maybe this was what she deserved. Even if she knew that she never hurt that tiny baby._

"Mom? Mom?" Spencer put a hand on her mother's arm.

Mary flinched, pulling her arm away. She looked at Spencer, startled. She hadn't heard the younger woman enter the Lost Woods office.

Spencer watched her mother in concern, "Sorry… Are you okay?"

"Yes, yes," Mary said absently, "I was just… thinking."

Spencer nodded slowly, "Okay, well if you want to share, I'll listen."

Mary offered her daughter a small smile and stood up, hesitating.

Spencer read the other woman well and pulled her into a quiet hug.

"Thank you," Mary whispered.

"Any time," Spencer promised, "I love you, mom."

Spencer heard a sob escape Mary's body and her mother's embrace tighten around her. She wanted to ask her mom what was wrong. She had recognised that look in her mom's eyes as soon as she'd entered the office. She'd seen the tortured look in her mom's eyes before. She'd seen it in the mirror. She'd silently dubbed it the Radley Look.

"Mom, it's okay," she whispered, "I'm here. You're not alone. You'll never be alone, I promise. I know who you are and I love you."

Mary pulled her face from her daughters' shoulder, "You always know what to say," she sniffed, "How do you do that?"

Spencer smiled, "Guess it's in the genes."

Mary wiped her eyes with the back of her hands, "I guess it is," she smiled, "You remind me of someone," she said quietly.

Spencer tilted her head, "Who?" she asked curiously.

Mary hesitated, "My mom," she whispered.

"Your mom?" Spencer echoed in surprise, "I've never heard you talk about her."

Mary nodded.

"How do I remind you of her?" Spencer wondered.

Mary smiled, "She was very intelligent. Very inquisitive. She had a big heart. When she loved, it was so strong. She always knew what to say. And you definitely have her eyes."

Spencer smiled, "Really? I thought I had your eyes… You must have hers too," she hesitated, "What happened… I mean, she loved you so much, how…"

"Did I end up in Radley?" Mary sighed, "I told you about the Carver baby… I suppose it was easier for them to believe that it was me because I'd been getting into some… trouble."

"What kind of trouble?" Spencer asked.

Mary sighed again, "When I got to high school, I fell in with a bad crowd. They were a little older and I started skipping classes, vandalism, small things at first… but it escalated quickly. We started breaking into cars, going for stupid joyrides. Got away with it a couple of times so we thought we were invincible. Of course, we got caught. My mom was worried about me. My father was furious. He'd always been… team Jessica. I got into a big fight with him one night. He didn't like my friends. I don't think mom did either but she at least had tact. I walked out and… did something really stupid."

Spencer nodded, "What did you do?"

Mary shook her head, "I met up with a friend. We… we broke into her father's safe and... stole his gun," she rushed as she saw the surprise on her daughters face, "We didn't point it at anyone. It was just target practice but we got into a lot of trouble. I didn't care so much about dad but the way mom looked at me when she found out… It was awful."

"But enough to make your mom believe you'd hurt a little baby?" Spencer asked.

"Well, not intentionally but Jessica was smart. And quick. She told everyone that after she'd gone home and left me to it that one of her friends' had seen me drinking at some party. Her friend backed her up. They said I'd left the baby all alone and snuck back in time for the parents to come home. And I had been drinking, before Jessica even called. I only had two but still, it was on my breath so everyone believed it. I was the troubled one," it was clear by the look on her face that the memory still pained her.

Spencer sighed heavily, "That's terrible. She's such a… "

"Bitch?" Mary filled in, "Yes, she really was."

"More like evil," Spencer said angrily, "I can't believe she got away with it. With so much. With everything. That woman destroyed lives like it was nothing. She should have been the one locked up in that place. She should have – "

Mary placed a hand on Spencer's shoulder to stop her pacing, "Hey, hey. Stop. It's okay."

"But it's not okay," Spencer replied hotly, "It's not even close to okay. It's – "

"Terrible," Mary cut in quietly, "I know. It is. But please, don't get so worked up."

Spencer took a deep breath, "Didn't your mom ever try to get you out of that hell hole? Didn't Jessica care or didn't her friend didn't at least have an conscience?"

"Jessica never cared about anything except herself… And she was very good at keeping people quiet. I don't know how she did it but she did," Mary's face darkened; that tortured look coming back to her eyes, "As for my mom…she visited me. But it was only a couple of months after I was admitted… there was a car crash. It killed both my parents."

"I'm so sorry," Spencer took her mom's hand.

Mary nodded, "It was… the worst thing that had ever happened to me at that point. I struggled a lot after that and my care was put to the state. Until we turned eighteen. Then Jessica was in charge."

Spencer bit her tongue so hard it hurt, "You had no family."

"No," Mary agreed softly, raising a hand to her daughters' cheek, "But now I do. I have you. I have Charlotte. I have Alison. I feel so very lucky."

"You're amazing, you know that?" Spencer said, "After everything… you still offer your love. A lot of people would cut themselves off. Radley was bad enough when I was there, I can't imagine how it must have been when you were there," she paused, "I still have nightmares about that place."

Mary's eyes softened, "I do too," she confessed, "I'm so sorry that you ever had to see the inside of that place."

Spencer swallowed tightly, "It was awful but… I suppose I was lucky compared to you," she finished quietly.

"From what I've heard, it was still a very lonely place," Mary said, "I'm very glad it's been closed down. Mental health care has come a long way and Radley was very stuck in the past."

Spencer nodded in agreement, "For sure. My time there feels like such a blur, it felt like it lasted forever but moments just kept slipping away," she frowned, "It was almost like an out of body experience… Floating in and out…"

Mary held Spencer's hand between her own two, "I understand," she murmured, "Perhaps it is an coping mechanism, to make ourselves as numb as possible. I'm sure there is so much time there I don't remember because my brain has decided to just discard those painful memories… In hopes of making new, better one's," she smiled.

"Could you really think like that, being in that place, could you really think there would ever be a happy ending?" Spencer asked.

"No," Mary answered honestly, "I couldn't think there would ever be a happy moment, let alone a happy ending. But I knew I had to at least pretend. Fake it until you make it, so they say."

"You're so strong," Spencer observed.

Mary smiled, "So are you, Spencer. You've been through more than anyone should have been put through. I'm very proud to be your mother."

I'm really proud to be your daughter," Spencer replied.

"You're too kind," Mary said with a smile.

"I mean it," Spencer insisted, "It's really good to be able to talk about this kind of stuff. I've never really had that before. It gives me hope that even through all the shit the world throws at us, it can actually get better. I don't know if I ever really believed that before," she paused, "So even though it kind of turned my world upside down, I'm really, really glad you came back here."

"You will be happy, honey," Mary squeezed her daughters hands, "And I'm really glad I finally found you," Mary smiled and pulled her daughter close, kissing the top of her head.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Sorry it's been a while! But here we go and another one is already under way so shouldn't be such a long wait this time! Enjoy and let me know what you think! : )**

 **Chapter 21**

 _Mary shivered under thin sheets. She squeezed her eyes shut._

 _"Close your eyes all you want, awake or asleep you can't escape."_

 _Mary's lips moved but no sound came out. She could hear her own words in her head. Go away, she thought, please, please, go away._

 _"You're never getting out of this place," the cold voice continued, "You're never going to be happy. I don't know why you want out so badly. You have nothing on the outside. No friends. Certainly no family."_

 _"Shut up, shut up, shut up," Mary murmured, her body shaking more than ever._

 _A cold laugh filled her ears._

 _"You'll never see them. Your babies. They won't ever know your name. Or even your existence."_

 _"Don't say that," Mary sobbed, "Please, don't ever say that."_

 _"The boy talks now… his first word was mommy," a cold chuckle sounded, "to me, of course. The only mom he'll ever know."_

 _Mary was crying now. She didn't remember getting out of the bed and she didn't have a clue where the knife came from. Her breathing was heavy and her hands shook as she faced her twin sister._

 _"Oh, what are you going to do now?" Jessica said mockingly._

 _Mary gripped the knife so tightly the handle dug into the palm of her hand._

 _Jessica leant closer, "You don't have the guts. You never did. You're pathetic."_

 _The tears were streaming down Mary's face. She moved the hand holding the knife upwards but shaking so hard, she dropped it. She sunk down onto the bed._

 _"Knew it. You're as weak as ever."_

Mary awoke feverishly. She ran her shaking hands through her damp hair. She kicked the covers off and headed for the shower. She stay in the shower, head leant again the tiled wall, for well over an hour.

* * *

As she waited for Charlotte to return, Mary spotted a bottle of pills in her daughters' handbag. Her fingers unconsciously began tapping on the table. Without thinking, she scooped the bottle out and read the label; _Spencer Hastings._ Hesitating for only the briefest moment, she pocketed the bottle and plastered on a smile in time for Charlotte's return to the table.

* * *

Spencer pulled up to the Lost Woods and parked haphazardly. Mary had never just not turned up when they had plans. She was worried. Who could blame her after everything they'd been through? She had a quick look around outside before making her way to the office. She turned the handle and frowned. They rarely locked up the office during the day.

"Mom?" she called as she fished out her key. She knocked on the door, not really waiting for an answer before unlocking the door and letting herself in. Her frown only deepened when she saw the older woman lain on the old couch in the back room.

Then she spotted the pill bottle. She picked it up; a lot lighter than when Charlotte had taken it from her a couple of weeks ago. An almost empty bottle of whiskey was knocked over besides the couch. Mary's arms were curled into her chest tightly.

Spencer rifled through the cupboards until she found a thin blanket and draped it over her sleeping mother.

Mary stirred slightly, pulling the blanket tightly around her, "Spencer," she rubbed her eyes, looking at the mess around her, "What are you doing here?" she started to sit up, "You shouldn't see me like this," she muttered.

"No," Spencer agreed, "But here we are. How did you get my pills? Did Charlotte give them to you?"

Mary looked aghast, "No, no of course not," she shook her head vigorously, "I… took them when she wasn't looking. Why did she have them – "

"She was trying to… protect me," Spencer said, with a shrug, "But I guess… well, full cycle."

Mary nodded then held her head.

"Why?" Spencer asked quietly, "I thought things were going pretty well. Did something happen?"

Mary looked at her daughters eyes; full of concern, "Things are going well… I just wanted the nightmares to stop," she whispered, "The thoughts…"

Spencer sighed, "I get that. Really, I do," she bit her lip, noting that her mother was avoiding eye contact, "But trust me, it doesn't help, it turns everything to crap… and I," she paused, "I really want you in my life but if you're going down this path – "

"I understand, " Mary whispered, "And I'm not. Going down this path," she said firmly, "It was a slip, a stupid slip. I just… the nightmares never stop. Sometimes it gets too much. I just need it to stop."

"Yeah, I know the feeling," Spencer murmured, "I still get nightmares too."

Mary raised a hand to her daughters cheek, "You've been through so much," she noticed Spencer startle at her touch and withdrew her hand, "I apologise."

"No, it's, it's okay," Spencer smiled, "It's just mom, I mean my adopted mom and dad weren't the most affectionate of people when I was growing up. Sometimes I forget you are."

"Sorry," Mary apologised again, "My mom was very affectionate. My father was not. When I was little and I'd have nightmares, my mom would come and sleep in my bed."

Spencer smiled, "That's sweet. I never told my parents about my nightmares… I thought it was a show of weakness."

Mary looked sympathetic, "It's not weakness, Spencer. Some minds are just… darker than others. Usually because of some kind of experience."

Spencer nodded, then frowned, "But when you were just a kid, before Radley and all, did anything bad ever happen?"

Mary stayed silent a while before answering with a heaviness to her voice, "I never understood why my mother stayed with him. She would always make sure me and Jessica were in our room so we wouldn't see… but we still heard. By the time we were teenagers, Jessica was used to it. Desensitised, I suppose. But I couldn't stand listening to him yelling and her crying and pleading… That's when I started sneaking out. Getting in trouble," she sighed, "I would either dream that she would pick me up from school one day and we would just drive. Far away and never come back. Or I'd have nightmares that it would just get worse… that he would hurt her so badly one day it would kill her. That was the first time I remember wondering if you could ever just drop dead… of sadness."

Spencer didn't know what to say and took a moment to find her voice, "I'm so sorry, that's awful. No wonder you had nightmares even then."

"You said you had nightmares when you were young, did anything… "

"No," Spencer answered quickly, "No, nothing like that. I think I was just an anxious child, I never really felt like I fit in anywhere. Mom and dad, they really loved me and wanted me to have the best of things all the time. It's just I always felt like I had to _be_ the best too. Me and Melissa were so competitive. I think it took a while for my parents to realise how unhealthy it was. None of them seemed to feel as much as I did, to feel the pressure, the emotions. Things got to me that didn't get to them so much. They didn't understand it. So I felt like an outsider in my home. For a long time."

It was things Spencer had always felt but rarely verbalised. Even now, she was self conscious, watching her mother for a reaction.

Mary offered a grimace, "I suppose you get that from me," she said softly, "I can be very emotional too. Jessica and my father never understood. My mom was a bit better, she certainly tried. I wish I could have been around when you were younger, I really do."

"I do too," Spencer said honestly, "But it's really nice to be able to talk to you about this. My mom's a lot better now but it's still hard to speak candidly to her about this kind of thing. I'm not used to being able to talk so openly… especially with an adult."

Mary raised her hand before hesitating, "I'm sorry, may I?" she asked. Spencer nodded and allowed her mom to place her hand on her cheek, "You can always talk to me, Spencer. About absolutely anything at all," she bit her lip, "I know I slipped today with the pills and drink… but I want to be here for you."

"I know," Spencer said, "I want to be there for you too," she looked at the almost empty bottle of whiskey still lain on the floor, "May I ask how big of an issue is alcohol for you?"

Mary sighed heavily, "More so than the pills, if I'm honest. The pills were just a bonus… the alcohol… I used to drink for weeks, months at a time without break. Now, not so much but…"

Spencer hesitated before raising her hand to her mother's cheek, making Mary smile a little at the gesture she knew was hard for her daughter, "I know it's really hard and I never expect you to be perfect but maybe we could both try and find some better way to quiet the darkness in our minds?"

Mary nodded, "I think that is probably a good idea. I used to keep a journal, which helped for a little while… It was still a bit like talking to a brick wall though."

"You can always talk to me about your nightmares if it helps," Spencer offered, "Or you can just call me for a chat about anything. Whenever you want. There's nothing worse than waking up from a nightmare to be alone with your thoughts."

Mary felt relief flood through her body; she wouldn't' say it aloud but she'd been hoping her daughter would say something like that, "Thank you," she smiled, "I am so lucky to have you, Spencer. You always seem to know how I'm feeling. I've never had that before."

Spencer returned the smile, "Ditto. Things are going okay with Charlotte though, right?"

"Oh, yes," Mary nodded, "Much better. Still, we're not quite at this," she gestured between the two of them, "level yet."

"Sure," Spencer said, "It takes time. It did with us."

"I suppose it did," Mary agreed, "I do hope so. I don't think she's had enough people in her life who want to understand her. To know her."

Spencer remained silent, nodding.

"Sorry," Mary sighed, "I know she's not your favourite subject to talk about. I respect that."

"I know," Spencer shook her head, "It's okay. I guess I just want… "

Mary looked at her curiously, "What is it?"

Spencer shrugged, "I still find it hard to be around Charlotte. That's going to take a lot of time… but, I don't know, I just want everyone to be healthy. To have a chance after everything…" she chuckled, "It sounds so stupid."

"No, Spencer," Mary said softly, "It doesn't sound stupid at all. It sounds very mature and… sweet. It's why I love you."

Spencer smiled sheepishly, "I love you too, mom."

* * *

"Are you alright?" Alison had noted her aunt's quietness all evening.

Mary was jolted out of her thoughts of the day's events, "I am."

"You've been quiet," Alison said, "I mean, quieter than usual."

Mary sighed, "It's been a long, emotionally draining day."

Alison nodded, respecting her aunt's privacy and not prying, "Okay, well if you want to talk about it… or not talk about it. I'm here."

Mary smiled, "Thank you, Alison," she looked guilty, "I'm so sorry. I know I haven't been around much lately and – "

"It's okay, Mary," Alison reassured her, "There's a lot of changes going on for everyone right now. Speaking of which, Emily's going to move in."

Mary chuckled, "I thought she had already."

Alison smiled sheepishly, "Well, basically. I mean, she's here all the time so we just figured it was time. She wants to be close to the baby and look after me."

"She's a lovely young woman," Mary said, "You both are. You will be such wonderful mothers."

Alison grinned, "Thanks, Aunt Mary."

"And I know I haven't been around much, but you know I'm here for you, don't you? All you have to do is call."

"I know," Alison said, "How are the renovations at the Lost Woods?"

"Not bad," Mary said, "Spencer's really dived into it. It's nice to have something to work on together," she paused, "I have an idea. When is Emily coming by? Why don't I cook you two dinner? Charlotte too, of course."

Alison smiled, "Sure, that would be great!"

* * *

Mary looked up suddenly as there was an aggressive knock on her bedroom door. Her daughter didn't wait for an answer and came in.

"You took Spencer's pills," she exclaimed.

Mary quickly walked over to the door and closed it, not wanting Alison to hear, "I know. I'm sorry."

"Why?" Charlotte demanded, "I thought whiskey was your poison."

Mary chewed on her tongue anxiously, "It is. But if pills are accessible…" she shrugged, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone through your bag."

"No, you shouldn't have," Charlotte sighed, "I took them from Spencer to keep her safe and then got you in trouble anyway… Did you already take them?"

"Some, yes," Mary confessed quietly, too ashamed to look at her daughter, "But Spencer and I got rid of them. Flushed them."

"So she knows," Charlotte shook her head, "Mary, you can't… We have a baby coming into the house. You can't – "

"I know, I know," Mary put her face in her hands, "It was a slip. I won't do it again."

Charlotte sighed, "I get it. Addiction. But if you ever feel like that… self destructive feeling… you have to talk to someone. You can come talk to me if you like."

Mary took her hands away from her face, "Thank you, Charlotte," she said quietly, "I really don't want to disappoint you any more than I already have."

"You don't disappoint me," Charlotte said firmly, "I just worry… You're the only mom I've got left, I don't want anything to happen to change that."

Mary's eyes widened and she stepped forward, pulling the younger woman into her arms, "I'm not going anywhere," she whispered, "I promise."


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Mary could feel her daughters' eyes surveying her closely as she sipped on her coffee. She looked up at Spencer with a sigh.

"I'm fine," she said, "I can feel your x-ray eyes on me, you know."

Spencer smiled sheepishly, "Sorry," she hesitated, "But are you really? Last week was…"

Mary placed a hand over her daughters, "I am fine, I promise," she said firmly, "A little tired, but no pills, no drink, nothing."

"Okay," Spencer nodded, "I just don't want you not to tell me if you relapse because you think I'll turn away or you'll disappoint me or something."

Mary managed a small smile, "Thank you, Spencer. What I could use is another coffee," she made to stand up.

"I'll get it," Spencer stood, "You know, I do that too."

"What's that?" Mary asked.

"Compensate," Spencer shrugged, "Swap one addiction for another. But hey, coffee's better than the alternative."

Mary nodded, "Must be the genetics."

"Must be," Spencer smiled but stopped and quickly sat back down as the tears welled in her mother's eyes, "Hey, what is it?" she took Mary's hands in her own.

Mary wiped her tears with one hand and stared at the table below through a swell of new tears, "You've been through so much because of these stupid genes. Because of my stupid genes. I've passed on so much pain and illness and addiction to you and – "

"Stop, stop," Spencer scooted her chair closer to the older woman, still holding her hands, "None of my issues are your fault. I don't blame you for any of it. There's no knowing if I would have had the same issues with different genes, you know how science works, it's not that simple."

"But even Charlotte and all her issues – "

"No," Spencer said firmly, "Circumstance, mom. These things, they can lie dormant, you know that but it's the whole nature versus nurture debate. There's way more than just genes to how a person turns out. Hell, you're a living example of that, mom! You and Jessica are the closest thing genetically possible, twins. And you're completely different."

"She was a terrible mother… I'm a terrible mother," Mary said miserably, eyes cast downwards.

Spencer hated seeing her mom so down on herself, "You're not a terrible mother, don't ever say that. I'm really, really glad you're my mom. You know that. I've told you that and I'll keep telling you."

"I'm just so sorry," Mary whispered.

"I know you are but you don't need to be," Spencer insisted, "I love you."

Mary finally looked up at her daughter, "I love you too," she said quietly, wiping her eyes, "I'm – "

"Don't," Spencer smiled, "Don't ever apologise for being human."

Mary managed a smile, "Thank you."

"We all have bad days," Spencer pulled her mom in for a hug and felt Mary's arms wrap around her tightly.

* * *

"This is fantastic," Charlotte said between mouthfuls.

Mary smiled, "You're too kind."

Alison grinned, "She's right, it's delicious," she piled more food onto her plate.

Emily watched her girlfriend with a laugh, nudging her gently, "You're definitely eating for two now."

Alison blushed slightly as Charlotte giggled, "Shush, you."

"How are you feeling?" Mary asked, "Other than hungry?" she laughed too.

"Oh, haha," Alison rolled her eyes, "I think the morning sickness is fading a bit at the moment so that's nice. Sleeping is a pain. You know, we have our next ultrasound next week. We were hoping you would come."

Mary looked at her in surprise, "M-me?"

Alison beamed, "Yes, you! Pam came last time and you're well… you're the closest I have to a mom, aunt Mary and I'd really like it if you would come. Will you?"

Mary rose out of her seat and wrapped her arms around Alison, "Of course I will. Thank you so much, Alison."

Charlotte coughed gently.

Alison laughed, "Don't worry, I was going to ask you too. I see you looking at the first pictures all the time."

"Yes, yes, thank you, Ali," Charlotte beamed, "I can't wait!"

* * *

Spencer slipped on a clean, black singlet and pulled her jeans on after her shower. She threw her renovation clothes into a basket and headed over to the office.

"Mom, are you here?" she elbowed the office door open as she balanced her laundry basket, "Oh. Hey, mom."

She found herself staring into the strange situation before her of Veronica and Mary sitting opposite one another and both looking at her.

Spencer put her laundry basket on the desk, "What's going on? Am I in trouble or something?" she asked, "This is… weird. I don't think I've ever seen you two in the same room."

"Hi, darling," Veronica stood and gave her daughter a hug, "We were just talking about… well, you."

Spencer looked from one mom to the other, "Okay. Why?"

"I just thought it was time… we spoke," Veronica said, "We're both a part of your life. And you know I'm heading up state next week for that conference? Well, your father thought we might head off to London to visit Melissa and then Paris for our anniversary – "

"And you thought, at twenty-two, I need a babysitter?" Spencer quirked an eyebrow.

Veronica rolled her eyes, "Of course not," she picked up her handbag, "Anyway, I've got a meeting. I'll see you this week for dinner?"

"Sure," Spencer nodded and hugged her mom again, "Bye."

"Bye," Veronica turned to Mary and nodded curtly, "Goodbye, Mary."

"Veronica," Mary managed a smile.

Spencer turned back to Mary, "I'm still confused," she frowned, "Is everything really okay?"

Mary smiled and stood up, drawing her daughter in for a hug, "Everything's fine," she promised, "I think she just wanted an excuse to see where you're living, to be honest. And perhaps to see how stable I am. She does seem to worry about leaving you alone for so long."

Spencer smiled, "I'm not alone. And I don't know if it's escaped your attention but I am an adult."

"I know you are and she does too but you can't blame her… after everything that's happened, I suppose it's difficult for her to leave you… with me," Mary finished quietly.

Spencer nodded, "I know it hasn't been easy for her. But it's not a competition," she continued, "I've told her that."

"I understand how she must feel," Mary confessed, "When I first came into your life, I felt that I had so much to catch up on. How could I possibly compete with her, having been your mother for your entire life?"

"But you don't need – "

"I think I know that now," Mary smiled, "I just had to focus on you and me. Because that's our relationship. Not anyone else. That's what I told your mother."

Spencer chuckled, "How'd she take that? She's not always the best at taking advice. She can be… defensive."

"At first she was," Mary agreed, "but she really loves you, Spencer. For years, decades, I was so jealous and bitter that you were growing up calling another woman, mom. Knowing nothing about me," she blinked quickly, containing her emotion, "but I'm glad you had her. She seems like a good woman, with your best interests at heart."

Spencer smiled, "So am I. Our relationship was rocky when I was younger but it's gotten a lot stronger the last few years," her smile faded, "I still wish I'd met you sooner."

Mary nodded, taking Spencer's hand, "Of course I do too. I'm just glad you had people who really loved you."

"I wish you'd had someone… it must have been so lonely," Spencer said sadly.

Mary sighed, "It was but I always had the thought of my children to keep me going. And now I've got my happy ending," she smiled.

Spencer grinned, "Of course. Hey, you want to come next door and have a movie night?"

"I'd love to," Mary smiled, picking up Spencer's laundry basket, "But first, why don't I put this on?"

Spencer stood up quickly, "No, you don't have to – "

Mary rolled her eyes, "I can do it, sweetheart. It's nice getting to do things like this."

"It's nice getting to do my laundry?" Spencer laughed.

Mary chuckled, "Actually, it is," she said, "I like doing the little things for you. It's a mother's duty to do her daughters' laundry."

Spencer held up her hands in surrender, "Okay, okay you can do it if it makes you so happy," she chuckled as Mary bounced off to the washing machine in the back office.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

"T-twins? You're sure?" Alison squinted at the ultrasound screen.

The ultrasound technician smiled, "Yeah, see there," she pointed to the screen, "One…and the other one right here."

"Wow," Emily squeezed Alison's hand.

"Two mini-Alison's!" Charlotte grinned.

Alison rolled her eyes, "They're technically mini Emily's, you do realise?"

Charlotte shrugged, "Fine, fine. Mini emison's."

Emily laughed, "Can you tell…" she looked to the technician.

"Gender?"

Emily looked at Alison, "What do you think, do you want to know?"

Alison nodded.

"Girls," the technician reported, "Twin baby girls."

Emily half hugged the lying down Alison and kissed her forehead. Alison smiled and looked to Mary.

"You're quiet," she noted.

Mary smiled weakly, "Twins. Full circle. Congratulations."

Charlotte could see the pain in her mother's eyes and took her hand, squeezing gently.

"Just promise me something?" Mary whispered.

Alison nodded as she sat up.

"Don't ever pick a favourite," Mary said quietly, "And don't ever wish them to be the same. Let them be their own person and love them for their differences."

"Of course," Alison promised, standing up and giving her aunt a hug, "Don't worry. These babies are going to have so many people who love them. Including you," she put her hand on her stomach, "They can hear us talking about them," she giggled.

"Are they moving?" Mary asked.

Alison took her aunt's hand and placed it over her stomach. She grinned when she saw the surprise on Marys' face turn into a smile.

"Wow," she whispered, "Hello, little babies."

Charlotte nudged her way forward.

Mary laughed and let her daughter in. Charlotte rest her hand on Alison's stomach.

"That's amazing," Charlotte looked at Alison, "I used to feel you kick all the time when you were little."

"You did?" Alison asked in surprise.

Charlotte nodded, "Yeah, I'd sit with mom and she said you were kicking so I wanted to feel what my little sister was doing. You kicked a lot!"

Emily laughed, "No surprises there."

Alison smiled sheepishly as she took her girlfriends' hand, "Shut up, you."

* * *

"Wow, twins," Spencer sat opposite her mom as the two had dinner in the Lost Woods office, "That's quite a revelation."

Mary nodded, "Yes. Well, twins are… significantly more work."

"If anyone can handle it, it's Ali and Emily," Spencer said firmly, "You don't need to worry, you know. None of us are going to let history repeat itself."

"I know," Mary sighed, "I just wasn't expecting… but you're right. They're going to be fantastic mother's. They love each other so much."

Spencer smiled, "Took them long enough to get it together but yeah, they do."

"Well, love isn't easy," Mary said, "Sometimes it takes time."

"Sure," Spencer nodded absently, "I suppose it does."

Mary noted the change in her daughters' mood, "Honey, what is it?"

Spencer shrugged, "I guess I was just thinking… if I'd acted quicker, maybe I could have had some of that time… with Toby."

"Perhaps… but sometimes we drift apart from people… sometimes we find our way back. Sometimes we don't. For all kinds of reasons," Mary said softly, unsure of what to say.

"I guess," Spencer hesitated, "It's just sometimes I suppose I get jealous of Alison and Emily. They took their time but look at them now. I should have just told Toby that I still loved him."

Mary reached her hand over to cover Spencer's, "I can't pretend to know how you feel, losing someone you were so in love with… From what you've told me about you two, I'm sure that, in some form, he loved you too. That first love is very special. It makes a mark on the heart that never completely fades."

Spencer nodded, "I guess I just miss him," she whispered.

"I know you do," Mary squeezed her fingers around her daughters, "You and he were both very lucky to know that kind of love."

Spencer stood up, "Can I have a hug?" she whispered.

Mary got out of her seat and pulled her daughter close, "You never have to ask," she ran a hand through Spencer's hair, "I'm just sorry, I wish I knew what to say – "

"Mary?"

"Yes?"

"Don't say anything, please. Just hold me," Spencer sniffed, letting a couple of tears.

"Okay," she said quietly, holding her daughter tightly and kissing the side of her head.

* * *

The Dilaurentis house was dark when Mary arrived home. She tried to be quiet as she unlocked the door and crept through the house. She was so surprised to see her niece sitting in the lounge room in the dark that she let out a small gasp.

"Ali," she breathed, "You scared me."

"Sorry," Alison mumbled.

Mary turned on the lamp, squinting at the younger woman, "What are you doing, sitting here in the dark?"

Alison shrugged, "Just thinking I guess."

Mary took a seat next to her, "Anything you want to share?"

Alison was silent a moment, "What if I can't do it?" she said quietly.

"Do what?"

"Be a mom," Alison answered, "A good mom."

Mary took her niece's hand, "Of course you can, Alison. You and Emily will be great mothers!"

Alison nibbled on her lip, "How am I meant to be a good mother when… I mean, what if I can't bond with them? What if I don't love them? What if I'm just like… my mom?"

Mary sighed, "No, honey, you're nothing like Jessica. You already love them, I see it in your eyes. Don't you?"

"Yes," Alison nodded, "Of course I do. I'm just… scared. Emily was raised by such a good mother, she knows how to do it. I don't know what it's like, what they need – "

"I don't think anybody really knows what it's going to be like… until it happens," Mary said, "Your experiences with your own mother, they can still teach you – "

"What not to do," Alison cut in.

Mary smiled, "Well, yes. But you can think… what it was you wished she'd given you more of, what you feel like you missed out on, what you needed… Then you can be sure to give that to your children."

Alison nodded, "Yeah, maybe you're right."

"And you'll have so many people around you, your friends, Emily, me and Charlotte," Mary promised, "We'll all help you."

Alison hugged her suddenly, "Thank you," she whispered.

Mary returned the embrace, "Of course, sweetheart."

Alison looked at her, "I didn't want to talk about it…with you… because… "

Mary frowned, "Why?"

Alison avoided her gaze, shrugging, "Well, you didn't… I mean, I didn't want to talk about being a mother when you… "

"Didn't get to be a mother," Mary finished quietly, "I understand. But please, don't ever feel like you can't talk to me about being a mother. I may not have the experience… but I still want to help you in any way that I can. I am so incredibly excited for you to have this experience. You are so lucky and so am I for being in your life."

Alison smiled, "I love you, Aunt Mary. And you might not have got to raise your children but you're still a mother. Spencer and Charlotte are really lucky to have you as a mom."

Mary smile was watery as she gave her niece another hug, "Thank you, Ali. Now why don't we both get some sleep?"

"Good idea," Alison yawned as she stood up and dragged her feet down the hall tiredly. Mary watched her with a smile before heading to her own room, thinking of how lucky she was to finally have a family.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

"I guess we should stop for lunch," Mary sighed, her arm tiring from pushing the paint roller up and down the wall.

Spencer nodded, "Sure," she dropped her roller in the dish and shook her arm out, "Three rooms done, not a bad morning's work."

"Not bad at all," Mary smiled, "Thanks for helping me with this. It would have taken me forever on my own," she massaged the inside of her arm.

"Of course," Spencer nodded, "Are you okay?" she noticed her mom wincing as she continued to massage the inside of her arm.

"Oh, I'm fine," Mary forced a smile, "A little sore. I had this pinched nerve problem a few years ago, it likes to give me trouble from time to time."

"You should have told me!" Spencer exclaimed, "Let's go pick something up for lunch, give us both a rest."

"Do you mind driving?" Mary passed her the keys, "Though you do have a little…" she motioned over her cheek.

Spencer lifted her elbow to wipe the paint from her face, only smearing it more making her mom laugh. She rolled her eyes, "I made it worse, didn't I?"

Mary chuckled, "A bit," she licked her thumb and wiped what she could of the dry paint away.

Spencer groaned, "Gross."

"Just trying to help," Mary laughed.

"Yeah, yeah," Spencer grumbled, "Let's go get something to eat. It's only the brew, not exactly like they have a dress code."

* * *

"Maybe we should take the rest of the day off," Spencer observed the way Mary had stopped using her left arm as she ate her lunch.

"We could have half the rooms done if we keep going!" Mary said, aghast.

Spencer shrugged, "Not if you're one handed," she pointed out.

Mary looked down at her arm, sighing, "It's fine," she muttered.

"So, what happened?" Spencer asked.

"Hm?" Mary asked absently.

"To your arm," Spencer persisted, "What happened?"

"Oh," Mary shrugged, "Nothing exciting. The doctor says it was just repetitive movement, similar to RSI. It's usually okay but it plays up sometimes, usually when I'm writing."

"Were you writing a lot at the time?" Spencer wondered, "Letters or?"

Mary smiled, squinting at the younger woman, "As inquisitive as ever."

Spencer returned the smile, silently waiting an answer.

"I was writing… I don't know, a story I suppose. A sort of journal…biography…"

"You wrote a book?" Spencer asked.

"Oh, I don't know that it's a book. It's just ramblings really. It got lonely so writing, well it helped. But I don't know, it's not any good," she said dismissively, "Ramblings of a lost, lonely woman."

Spencer smiled, "Don't you know the best novels are written by lost, lonely people?"

Mary laughed, "It's no novel, just the – "

"Ramblings, ramblings, I know," Spencer shook her head, "Okay, I get it. You're a private person, you don't want to share it with the world but… maybe, if you wanted and only if you wanted, you could share it with someone…with me. If you like. No pressure."

Mary smiled, "Thank you Spencer," she said softly, "I will think about it. Really, I will," she paused, "You're right. We should take a break for the day."

"We could always enlist more help, you know," Spencer said, "I'm sure the girls would like to pitch in or – "

"Maybe… if we need it," Mary smiled, "I don't know. I like doing this with you."

Spencer nodded, "I do, too. It's not like there's any rush to get the hotel up and running, right? We can take our time."

"True," Mary nodded, "But I'll be fine, Spencer. You don't have to worry."

Spencer smiled, "Of course I do. You're my mom, I don't like seeing you in any kind of pain."

Mary raised a hand to her daughters cheek, "Thanks, honey. I know you have a thousand opportunities you could be choosing to do… it means a lot that you've chosen to spend this time with me."

"The rest of the world will be there," Spencer said, "I used to think university and climbing the corporate ladder were all my future was about but so much has changed since I was a clueless freshman. I've learnt that life is about so much more than traditional success and money and status. It's about those little moments, those connections you make with people, about not being scared to make those connections in the first place. About family."

"Forever the smart one," Mary said quietly, smiling proudly.

* * *

Spencer pulled her hair out of its ponytail and ran a hand through her hair. She leant her head to either side, cracking her neck. She looked around the small room. She really was happy here. Sure, it wasn't spacious and didn't have a walk in robe or a queen bed with a feather soft mattress. But it felt good to live on the other side a while. It felt good to be close to her birth mom, who had taken to splitting her time between the Dilaurentis house and the Lost Wood Resort.

It felt good to work with her hands, not just her brains.

Plus, her mom had done everything to make her feel as at home as possible in the small room. She was sure the other rooms didn't have quite as comfortable bedding. She smiled as she pulled back the covers. That was when she saw the stack of papers on her bedside table. She pulled them closer, recognising her mom's scrawled handwriting over the pages. She smiled and pulled them onto her lap and began to read.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

Mary's eyes flicked from the tv to her niece on the couch. Alison's head rest on her girlfriends' shoulder, her eyelids drooping. Mary smiled. Emily fiddled with Alison's hair absently as her eyes were fixed on the screen. There was a knock on the door, disturbing the three women. Alison groaned and made to move.

"I'll get it," Mary said, "You two are far too comfortable."

"Thanks, Aunt Mary," Alison smiled sleepily, curling back into her girlfriends' side.

Mary looked at the clock as she walked to the door; it was late for a social call. She opened the door and saw her daughter before her.

"Spencer, I – "

Spencer rushed at her, throwing her arms around her and hugging her tightly, "I love you."

Mary returned the embrace after a moment of shock at the sudden affection, "I-I love you too."

Spencer held onto her for a while before pulling back. Mary opened the door and let her in. She led Spencer through to the sitting room, not wanting to disturb the couple in the lounge room.

Mary offered a small, silent smile.

"You've been through so much," Spencer said quietly, "I mean, I knew that. But you… you write so… it's heartbreaking."

Mary took Spencer's hands between her own, "I never want to break your heart, sweetheart. It was a mistake, I shouldn't have let you read – "

"No, I want to know," Spencer said quickly, "I mean, you have this whole life I don't really know about. It's just bits and pieces… I know you find it hard to vocalise but your writing, it's so articulate and emotional."

"It is easier to write it than to speak it," Mary admitted quietly.

Spencer nodded, "I get that. I find it hard to speak sometimes too. I'm so sorry… the electro-shock, it just sounds so… barbaric. So inhumane."

Mary's hands clasped together tightly, "The worst of it was knowing that someone I had once considered family, had once loved had signed for it. Some people, back then, thought that electroshock therapy could truly help mental conditions. Jessica was not one of those people. She knew it hurt, she knew that the doctors said that afterwards I was quieter than usual, easier to deal with. That was enough for her."

"No matter all the things I learn about that woman, I still can't comprehend how somebody can be so outright evil," Spencer said, a frown on her face, "It's so… fucked up."

"Yes, it is," Mary whispered, "Sometimes I still have nightmares," she admitted, "The darkness, the cold metal," she closed her eyes, "the doctors speaking but never to me. They don't even ask, they just strap me down and attach the electrodes…"

Spencer saw her mothers hands begin to shake and placed her hands on Mary's face, "Mom, open your eyes. You're not there anymore. It's over."

Mary's eyes fluttered open, "I try to tell myself that. Sometimes it feels like it will never be over."

Spencer bit her lip, "I know. I think like that too – about my time in Radley. I mean, I know it's nothing compared to what you've been through, the time you spent there – "

"Any time spent in that place is too much," Mary said, "I'm sorry that we have that place in common. You shouldn't have to read… you should give those pages back."

"It hurts like hell to read what you've been through… but it also makes me feel closer to you. I want to know about your life. We missed out on so much time together. I feel like I get to gain a little of that back by reading your words."

Mary smiled, "Okay," she whispered, "But if you want to talk about anything… I know I'm not very good at it, talking I mean, but I swear I'll try."

"You're not so bad at talking, you know," Spencer smiled, "I'm just really glad you're here now. I think we both deserve some happiness."

"You deserve everything in the world," Mary pulled her daughter into her arms.

Spencer hugged her back, "So do you."


End file.
